Joke of the day

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Wed Nov 27, 2013 1:03 pm

Colour blind.jpg: (13.37 KiB) Downloaded 481 times

GI Jane · Post by **GI Jane** » Wed Nov 27, 2013 2:07 pm

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Wed Nov 27, 2013 9:11 pm

ChrisF · Post by **ChrisF** » Fri Nov 29, 2013 6:36 am

Hou vas aan julle stoele vir hierdie SKOLIERE!!!

Afrikaans Graad 8
Maak 'n sin met "ter aarde bestel"
- Wie op ter aarde bestel so 'n groot koek?
Wiskunde Graad 9
Gee die formule om die oppervlakte van 'n sirkel te bepaal.
- Paai straal kordaat.
Aardrykskunde Graad 10
Hoe het berge ontstaan?
- Deur baie sterk winde.
Rekenaarstudie Graad 12
Waarom moet rekenaargebruikers gereeld rugsteunkopiee maak?
- Sodat hulle nie rugpyn kry nie.
Geskiedenis Graad 11
In watter jaar het Suid-Afrika 'n unie geword?
- Ek weet nie meneer. Maar 'n geseende Kersfees en 'n voorspoedige
Nuwejaar vir meneer en meneer se gesin.
Afrikaans
Voltooi: Hoe kaler jonker...
- Hoe stouter indie donker.
Wiskunde Graad 8
Wat is regoorstaande hoeke?
- Dit is hoeke wat vir mekaar kyk.
Geskiedenis Graad 8
Waarom is die Mona Lisa-skildery so baie werd?
- Omdat sy so 'n mooi vrou was.
Bybelkunde Graad 8
Waar het die koning van Israel twee afgodsbeelde laat oprig?
- In Jerusalem en Gauteng .
As kinders nog te klein is om pille te sluk, hoe kan 'n mens vir hulle medisyne ingee?
- Tepelsgewys. (teelepelsgewys)
Wat is 'n vlieënde piering?
- 'n Ding soos hierdie: O
Waar word sykouse vervaardig?
- By Pep Stors.
Waarom is die seun in die verhaal gestraf?
- Omdat hy sy eie virgin van die volkslied
gesing het.
Noem drie soorte grafiese rekenaarpakkette wat'n mens kry.
- Reghoekiges, rondes en langwerpiges.
Noem die vier seisoene.
- Sout, peper, mosterd en asyn.
Hoe word dou gevorm?
- Die son skyn op die blare en dan sweet hulle.
Wat veroorsaak getye in die see?
- Die getye is 'n geveg tussen die aarde en die maan. Al die water wil na die maan vloei, want daar is nie water op die maan nie. Ek het vergeet waar die son in die geveg inkom.
Watter waarborge kan 'n bank vereis as hulle 'n huisverband toestaan?
- As jy 'n huis koop, kan hulle aandring dat jy goed geërf het.
Hoe belangrik is eleksies in 'n demokratiese samelewing?
- Baie belangrik. Voortplanting kan slegs gebeur as 'n man 'n eleksie het.
Wat is 'n terminale siekte?
- As jy op die lughawe siek word

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Fri Nov 29, 2013 8:02 am

ROOFER · Post by **ROOFER** » Fri Nov 29, 2013 12:32 pm

GI Jane · Post by **GI Jane** » Fri Nov 29, 2013 5:54 pm

Hoe belangrik is eleksies in 'n demokratiese samelewing?
- Baie belangrik. Voortplanting kan slegs gebeur as 'n man 'n eleksie het.

duh...

KOBUSL · Post by **KOBUSL** » Fri Nov 29, 2013 6:53 pm

Ek gaan beslis stem.........................

Donkey · Post by **Donkey** » Sat Nov 30, 2013 7:36 am

The taxi industry (SANTACO) is offering a learnership programme, interested candidates must be high school drop outs.

Outstanding studants will recieve a quantum, leather jacket, sjambok and an All Star shoes (socks are not allowed)

Purpose of the job:

To transport and insult passengers
Swearing at the public

Requirements:

Skilled in spotting pot holes
Must be able to spot traffic cops from miles away
Must speak only Zulu
Must own 2 unlicensed firearms
Knowledge of short cuts
Can only count if the money comes seat by seat and can also count up to 16 passengers
Must also change money, change radio stations, exchange remarks and change lanes, all at the same time
And can stop anywhere

To apply go to your nearest taxi rank and ask for Baba Mkhize

GI Jane · Post by **GI Jane** » Sat Nov 30, 2013 9:54 am

and also have no care or sense of responsibility for the passengers in his vehicle.

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Sat Nov 30, 2013 11:09 am

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Sat Nov 30, 2013 11:12 am

Bushwacker · Post by **Bushwacker** » Sat Nov 30, 2013 1:12 pm

Bushwacker · Post by **Bushwacker** » Sat Nov 30, 2013 1:16 pm

The Cambulls

KOBUSL · Post by **KOBUSL** » Sat Nov 30, 2013 3:17 pm

Can only count if the money comes seat by seat and can also count up to 16 passengers

Don't the extra pax up to 25 pay ?

Post by **Mud Dog** » Sun Dec 01, 2013 8:06 pm

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dustbuster · Post by **dustbuster** » Mon Dec 02, 2013 8:55 am

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Post by **Mud Dog** » Mon Dec 02, 2013 5:53 pm

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Froll · Post by **Froll** » Mon Dec 02, 2013 6:09 pm

Donkey · Post by **Donkey** » Mon Dec 02, 2013 7:40 pm

KOBUSL · Post by **KOBUSL** » Mon Dec 02, 2013 8:36 pm

: jobcreators13.jpg (25.84 KiB) Viewed 8247 times

Donkey · Post by **Donkey** » Mon Dec 02, 2013 11:52 pm

I'm at work as a result

GI Jane · Post by **GI Jane** » Tue Dec 03, 2013 6:18 am

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Tue Dec 03, 2013 9:15 am

Ons noem die program "Hoer soek n boer"

mcw · Post by **mcw** » Tue Dec 03, 2013 3:46 pm

The Male Fairy Tale.
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, "Will you marry me?

The Princess said, "No!"

And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and dated skinny long-legged full-breasted women and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated ladies half his age and drank whisky, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard complaining and never paid child support or alimony and dated cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and ate spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was friggin cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.

The end.

Blitzkrieg · Post by **Blitzkrieg** » Tue Dec 03, 2013 3:50 pm

mcw wrote:The Male Fairy Tale.
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, "Will you marry me?

The Princess said, "No!"

And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and dated skinny long-legged full-breasted women and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated ladies half his age and drank whisky, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard belly-aching and never paid child support or alimony and dated cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and ate spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was friggin cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.

The end.

LOL!
I'm divorcing the princess now because of stated reasons so I will keep this story in mind and let you know how it goes!!
I hope it's true!!

Donkey · Post by **Donkey** » Tue Dec 03, 2013 8:12 pm

It's very true until you come across another "princess" who makes it her sole mission to try and change you

Post by **Mud Dog** » Tue Dec 03, 2013 10:30 pm

SAY A PRAYER

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. "Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer." said his mother.

"I don't need to," the boy replied.

"Of course, you do." his mother insisted. "We always say a prayer before eating at our house."

"That's at our house." Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!"

Donkey · Post by **Donkey** » Tue Dec 03, 2013 10:47 pm

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 3:22 pm

Post by **Mud Dog** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 6:20 pm

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mommy looked back once while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "And she turned into a telephone pole!"

GI Jane · Post by **GI Jane** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 7:58 pm

Post by **Haboob** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 8:41 pm

a

Mossienel · Post by **Mossienel** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 8:41 pm

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Post by **Mud Dog** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 11:27 pm

A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"

"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."

Bosfebok · Post by **Bosfebok** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 6:55 am

DIE HUWELIKSNAG

Hy : Uiteindelik, ek het so lank hiervoor gewag!
Sy : Wil jy hê dat ek ooit moet weggaan?
Hy : NEE!!!!
Sy : Hou jy van my?
Hy : Natuurlik, baie!
Sy : Het jy my al ooit bedrieg?
Hy : NEE. hoekom vra jy my dit?
Sy : Wil jy my soen?
Hy : Elke keer as ek die kans kry!
Sy : Sal jy my ooit vloek?
Hy : Is jy gek?
Sy : Kan ek jou vertrou?
Hy : Ja my liefie...
Sy : My liewe skat!

...en na 30 jaar se huwelik: lees dit nou van onder na bo!

Blitzkrieg · Post by **Blitzkrieg** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 7:12 am

Daai is nou 'n ware verhaal!

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 8:01 am

Post by **Mud Dog** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 8:12 am

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 5:04 pm

smokintyres · Post by **smokintyres** » Fri Dec 06, 2013 9:56 am

Potifar · Post by **Potifar** » Fri Dec 06, 2013 6:56 pm

As mans dronk is praat hulle baie *a* , bestuur *a* , soek onnodig *a* en hou daarvan om *a* te maak!

Ek haal my hoed af vir vrouens...........

Hulle doen dit sonder drank.

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Fri Dec 06, 2013 7:15 pm

Post by **Mud Dog** » Sun Dec 08, 2013 4:49 pm

David Beckham gets into a taxi and he sees the driver looking at him in the rear view mirror.

After about 5 minutes the driver says "OK give me a clue"

Beckham says "I had a glittering career at Manchester United, played in America and got over a 100 caps for England, is that enough ?"

Driver replies "No you stupid ass, where do you want to go ?"

KOBUSL · Post by **KOBUSL** » Sun Dec 08, 2013 5:33 pm

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Sun Dec 08, 2013 6:28 pm

Post by **Haboob** » Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:52 pm

Not as important as he thought.

Post by **CasKru** » Tue Dec 10, 2013 9:32 am

Jis maar die Kaapse water is koud

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KOBUSL · Post by **KOBUSL** » Tue Dec 10, 2013 7:55 pm

Mossienel wrote:

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Jy sien wat is die probleem......................

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Tue Dec 10, 2013 10:36 pm

4 runner oldie · Post by **4 runner oldie** » Thu Dec 12, 2013 1:23 am

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Thu Dec 12, 2013 12:33 pm

Who says men don't remember?

A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping centre was

packed , and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was

surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was

nowhere to be seen.

She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and hence, she

became so worried that she called him on her mobile phone to ask

him where he was.

In a quiet voice he said, "Do you remember the jewellers we went

into about five years ago where you fell in love with that

diamond necklace that we couldn't afford, and I told you that I

would get it for you one day??

The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I do

remember that shop.?

He replied, "Well, I'm in the pub next door."

Post by **CasKru** » Thu Dec 12, 2013 12:46 pm

And then the fight started

Thunder02 · Post by **Thunder02** » Thu Dec 12, 2013 2:12 pm

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Thu Dec 12, 2013 7:16 pm

4 runner oldie · Post by **4 runner oldie** » Fri Dec 27, 2013 5:59 am

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Froll · Post by **Froll** » Fri Dec 27, 2013 7:03 am

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Sat Dec 28, 2013 12:10 am

Oupa Stig · Post by **Oupa Stig** » Tue Jan 07, 2014 11:09 am

Sorry, could not resist. Fotos van die vent maak my gewoonlik naar, maar hier lyk hy tog so oulik.