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Joke of the day
Forum rules
Please keep it light hearted enol. No serious stufs hey! :)
We are trying to make the technical information more visible in the Active Topics section. So we are trying to combine all the humour posts into a single thread. This will then more or less always stay on the active topics page if you keep appending your jokes onto this single thread. Your assistance will be greatly appreciated
Please keep it light hearted enol. No serious stufs hey! :)
We are trying to make the technical information more visible in the Active Topics section. So we are trying to combine all the humour posts into a single thread. This will then more or less always stay on the active topics page if you keep appending your jokes onto this single thread. Your assistance will be greatly appreciated
- Mud Dog
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- Town: East London
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- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Froll
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 3305
- Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:13 pm
- Town: Vioolsdrift
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- Real Name: Roger
- Club VHF Licence: N/A
Re: Joke of the day
... no comment.
- Attachments
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- Obelix and Dogmatix
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
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- Real Name: Quentin
- Location: Allens Nek
Re: Joke of the day
ME SITTING IN THE OFFICE ON A SUNDAY WORKING!!!!! :sobbing: :sobbing:
Rules are there to make you think before you break them!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
- Pote
- LR 4WD Full Lockers
- Posts: 687
- Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:13 pm
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- Real Name: Johan
- Club VHF Licence: X228
Re: Joke of the day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OIJRMqYAA0" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Got to watch this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Got to watch this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Thunder02
- Moderator
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- Joined: Fri Nov 26, 2010 7:53 pm
- Town: East Rand
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- Location: 4x4 Direct Boksburg
- Contact:
Re: Joke of the day
Now that is a funny oneObelix and Dogmatix wrote:ME SITTING IN THE OFFICE ON A SUNDAY WORKING!!!!! :sobbing: :sobbing:
Not all those who wander are lost!
Scout motto:be prepared....
www.4x4direct.co.za
Email: boksburg@4x4direct.co.za
IFS is like a swambo, soft, sexy and expensive!
Scout motto:be prepared....
www.4x4direct.co.za
Email: boksburg@4x4direct.co.za
IFS is like a swambo, soft, sexy and expensive!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
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- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- WESKUSKLONG
- LR 4WD Rear Locker
- Posts: 364
- Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 9:03 pm
- Town: St Helena bay
- Vehicle: Hilux KZTE with ARB front locker/Safari Snorkel / 33x12.5x15 tyres / Long range tank / Battery system / Thomas compressor/ 2Engel fridge freezers/Cruise Control.
- Real Name: Rudi
- Hoppy
- Monster Truck
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- Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:15 pm
- Town: Cape Town
- Vehicle: Hilux SFA & IFS
- Real Name: Allan 0721291160
Re: Joke of the day
aev@iburst.co.za
The trouble with trouble is...it always starts as fun.
The most precious jewels you will ever wear around your neck is the arms of your children...
" I WOULD RATHER SIT ON THE TAILGATE OF MY HILUX WITH A BEER AND A CHOP, WATCHING A FIRE, THAN DINE IN THE BEST RESTAURANT IN TOWN "
- Mylux
- LR 4WD Full Lockers
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Re: Joke of the day
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- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29856
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
A Blonde joke that you may not have heard before .......
After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!'
The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady, why don't you go give it a try?'
The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, and spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.
He saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blond took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank.
Nearby were 7 more dead gators all lying belly up. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blond struggled with the gator.
Then, rolling her eyes, she screamed in frustration......
THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29856
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
Would you tell him, ..... or just watch?
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Obelix and Dogmatix
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1837
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:27 pm
- Town: ROODEPOORT
- Vehicle: HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix, donated to some clown, HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix II Onca front and rear Amade extreme Suspension and under water breathing apparatus
- Real Name: Quentin
- Location: Allens Nek
Re: Joke of the day
that looks a lot like a nissan so maybe just maybe watch, his reaction afterwards!! :evil: :evil:
Rules are there to make you think before you break them!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29856
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
Telephone rings, woman answers.
Pervert, breathing heavily, says,
"I bet you have a tight arse with no hair?"
Woman replies, "Yes, I have. He's watching the rugby....
Who shall I say is calling?"
Pervert, breathing heavily, says,
"I bet you have a tight arse with no hair?"
Woman replies, "Yes, I have. He's watching the rugby....
Who shall I say is calling?"
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Genis
- High Range 2WD
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2014 8:50 am
- Town: Alberton GP
- Vehicle: Hilux D4D 2.5 Dakar
- Real Name: Eugene
Re: Joke of the day
Bwhahaha!!!Mud Dog wrote:Telephone rings, woman answers.
Pervert, breathing heavily, says,
"I bet you have a tight arse with no hair?"
Woman replies, "Yes, I have. He's watching the rugby....
Who shall I say is calling?"
- Genis
- High Range 2WD
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2014 8:50 am
- Town: Alberton GP
- Vehicle: Hilux D4D 2.5 Dakar
- Real Name: Eugene
Re: Joke of the day
A young Brakpan woman was so depressed she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the harbour at the V&A Waterfront.
Just before she could throw herself from the dock, a handsome young man from Parow stopped her.
"You have so much to live for," said the man.
"I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow.
I can stow you away on our ship.
I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy,*the woman accepted.
That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold.
From then on every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn.
Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
“What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied.
"He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy*..."
"I see," the captain says.
Her conscience got the better of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Robben Island ferry."
Just before she could throw herself from the dock, a handsome young man from Parow stopped her.
"You have so much to live for," said the man.
"I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow.
I can stow you away on our ship.
I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy,*the woman accepted.
That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold.
From then on every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn.
Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
“What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied.
"He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy*..."
"I see," the captain says.
Her conscience got the better of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Robben Island ferry."
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29856
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
I suppose you've all heard about the dumb blonde that thought an Itchymickey was a Japanese motor-cycle. :shifty:
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- grobbepj
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1049
- Joined: Tue May 14, 2013 10:39 am
- Town: Alberton
- Vehicle: Hilux legend 35 4x4 3.0kzte D/C
- Real Name: Pieter
Re: Joke of the day
Can you follow the simple instructions...
- Obelix and Dogmatix
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1837
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:27 pm
- Town: ROODEPOORT
- Vehicle: HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix, donated to some clown, HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix II Onca front and rear Amade extreme Suspension and under water breathing apparatus
- Real Name: Quentin
- Location: Allens Nek
Re: Joke of the day
My Favorite Animal
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.
My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
He said they love animals very much.
I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.
I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.
She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.
Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders."
Guess where the f___ I am now...
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.
My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
He said they love animals very much.
I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.
I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.
She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.
Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders."
Guess where the f___ I am now...
Rules are there to make you think before you break them!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29856
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
A young jackaroo from outback Queensland goes off to university, but
halfway through the semester he has squandered all of his money.
He calls home.
'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education is developing.
they actually have a program here in Brisbane that will teach our dog
Ol' Blue how to talk.'
'That's amazing!' his Dad says. 'How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?'
'Just send him down here with $2,000,' the young jackaroo says, 'I'll
get him in the course.'
So his father sends the dog and $2,000.
About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out.
The boy calls home.
'So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?' his father wants to know.
'Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm... But you just won't believe
this. They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to teach the
animals how to read.'
'Read?' exclaims his father. 'No kidding! How do we get Ol' Blue in that program?'
'Just send $4,500. I'll get him in the class.'
The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of
the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read.
So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his
father is all excited.
'Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him
read something!'
'Dad,' the boy says, 'I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we
left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner,
reading the Wall Street Journal. Then he suddenly turned to me and asked,
'So, is your daddy still bonking that little redhead barmaid at the pub?''
The father groans and whispers,
'I hope you shot that bastard before he talks to your Mother!'
'I sure did, Dad!'
'That's my boy!'
The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.
halfway through the semester he has squandered all of his money.
He calls home.
'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education is developing.
they actually have a program here in Brisbane that will teach our dog
Ol' Blue how to talk.'
'That's amazing!' his Dad says. 'How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?'
'Just send him down here with $2,000,' the young jackaroo says, 'I'll
get him in the course.'
So his father sends the dog and $2,000.
About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out.
The boy calls home.
'So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?' his father wants to know.
'Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm... But you just won't believe
this. They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to teach the
animals how to read.'
'Read?' exclaims his father. 'No kidding! How do we get Ol' Blue in that program?'
'Just send $4,500. I'll get him in the class.'
The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of
the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read.
So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his
father is all excited.
'Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him
read something!'
'Dad,' the boy says, 'I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we
left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner,
reading the Wall Street Journal. Then he suddenly turned to me and asked,
'So, is your daddy still bonking that little redhead barmaid at the pub?''
The father groans and whispers,
'I hope you shot that bastard before he talks to your Mother!'
'I sure did, Dad!'
'That's my boy!'
The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Froll
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 3305
- Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:13 pm
- Town: Vioolsdrift
- Vehicle: 2010 4.0 V6 Fortuner 4x4
- Real Name: Roger
- Club VHF Licence: N/A
Re: Joke of the day
...
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- Bosfebok
- LR 4WD Full Lockers
- Posts: 870
- Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:55 am
- Town: Roodekrans
- Vehicle: 1995 Hilux Raider 2.2
- Real Name: Otto
- Club VHF Licence: X248
- Location: Roodekrans
Re: Joke of the day
Otto X248
1995 Hilux Raider 2.2 EFI Turbo DC
Alucab Canopy with Kitchen and Recovery sections
National Luna Split Charge system and Dual Battery
80W solar panel and MPPT controller
20.5" LED BAR
5ton tow bar with recovery points
Nudge-M front bumper
80l Long Range Fuel Tank
90l Water Tank
Slide Drawer System
Safari Snorkel
Double Lockers - Toyota Electric selectable
Diff breathers
The worst anti hi-jack alarm system ever, SANJI!!
A bad day out is still better than a good day in!!
1995 Hilux Raider 2.2 EFI Turbo DC
Alucab Canopy with Kitchen and Recovery sections
National Luna Split Charge system and Dual Battery
80W solar panel and MPPT controller
20.5" LED BAR
5ton tow bar with recovery points
Nudge-M front bumper
80l Long Range Fuel Tank
90l Water Tank
Slide Drawer System
Safari Snorkel
Double Lockers - Toyota Electric selectable
Diff breathers
The worst anti hi-jack alarm system ever, SANJI!!
A bad day out is still better than a good day in!!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29856
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
Canadian police chase .....
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29856
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Hoppy
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 5784
- Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:15 pm
- Town: Cape Town
- Vehicle: Hilux SFA & IFS
- Real Name: Allan 0721291160
Re: Joke of the day
aev@iburst.co.za
The trouble with trouble is...it always starts as fun.
The most precious jewels you will ever wear around your neck is the arms of your children...
" I WOULD RATHER SIT ON THE TAILGATE OF MY HILUX WITH A BEER AND A CHOP, WATCHING A FIRE, THAN DINE IN THE BEST RESTAURANT IN TOWN "
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29856
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
I was walking along a beach when I came across a lamp partially buried in the sand.
I picked up the lamp and gave it a rub. A genie appeared and told me I had been granted one wish.
I thought for a moment and said, "I want to live forever."
"Sorry," said the genie, "I'm not allowed to grant eternal life."
"OK, then, I want to die after the ANC government balances the budget, eliminates the debt and stamps out corruption”
"You sneaky little bastard," said the genie…
I picked up the lamp and gave it a rub. A genie appeared and told me I had been granted one wish.
I thought for a moment and said, "I want to live forever."
"Sorry," said the genie, "I'm not allowed to grant eternal life."
"OK, then, I want to die after the ANC government balances the budget, eliminates the debt and stamps out corruption”
"You sneaky little bastard," said the genie…
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Hoppy
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 5784
- Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:15 pm
- Town: Cape Town
- Vehicle: Hilux SFA & IFS
- Real Name: Allan 0721291160
Re: Joke of the day
aev@iburst.co.za
The trouble with trouble is...it always starts as fun.
The most precious jewels you will ever wear around your neck is the arms of your children...
" I WOULD RATHER SIT ON THE TAILGATE OF MY HILUX WITH A BEER AND A CHOP, WATCHING A FIRE, THAN DINE IN THE BEST RESTAURANT IN TOWN "
- Hoppy
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 5784
- Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:15 pm
- Town: Cape Town
- Vehicle: Hilux SFA & IFS
- Real Name: Allan 0721291160
Re: Joke of the day
aev@iburst.co.za
The trouble with trouble is...it always starts as fun.
The most precious jewels you will ever wear around your neck is the arms of your children...
" I WOULD RATHER SIT ON THE TAILGATE OF MY HILUX WITH A BEER AND A CHOP, WATCHING A FIRE, THAN DINE IN THE BEST RESTAURANT IN TOWN "
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29856
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Obelix and Dogmatix
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1837
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:27 pm
- Town: ROODEPOORT
- Vehicle: HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix, donated to some clown, HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix II Onca front and rear Amade extreme Suspension and under water breathing apparatus
- Real Name: Quentin
- Location: Allens Nek
Re: Joke of the day
to trueMud Dog wrote:
Rules are there to make you think before you break them!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
-
- LR 4WD Full Lockers
- Posts: 536
- Joined: Sat Apr 10, 2010 9:12 pm
- Town: Pretoria
- Vehicle: Hilux d4d 3
- Real Name: Dewald
- Location: Pretoria
- Contact:
Re: Joke of the day
Blessings - Adventures4Christ - Dewald - http://shop.adventures4christ.com/
Gal 6:9 "So let's not get tired of doing what is good. . ."
Rom 10:15 "How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news (Gospel and Salvation)!"
Gal 6:9 "So let's not get tired of doing what is good. . ."
Rom 10:15 "How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news (Gospel and Salvation)!"
- Obelix and Dogmatix
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1837
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:27 pm
- Town: ROODEPOORT
- Vehicle: HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix, donated to some clown, HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix II Onca front and rear Amade extreme Suspension and under water breathing apparatus
- Real Name: Quentin
- Location: Allens Nek
Re: Joke of the day
Rules are there to make you think before you break them!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
- Obelix and Dogmatix
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1837
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:27 pm
- Town: ROODEPOORT
- Vehicle: HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix, donated to some clown, HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix II Onca front and rear Amade extreme Suspension and under water breathing apparatus
- Real Name: Quentin
- Location: Allens Nek
Re: Joke of the day
FOUR OF THE YEAR'S BEST COMEBACK RESPONSES
NUMBER 1:
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.
He was being cross-examined by a defence attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility.....
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No, sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes, sir.'
Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.
NUMBER 2:
Now We Know Why He Was a General -----
In an interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America.
His answer was classic Schwarzkopf.
The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function... OUR job is to arrange the meeting."
NUMBER 3:
Dana Perino (FOX News) describing an interview she recently had with a Navy SEAL. After discussing all the countries that he had been sent to, she asked if they had to learn several languages?
"Oh, no ma'am. We don't go there to talk."
NUMBER 4:
Conversation overheard on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai ..
Iranian Air Defense Site: 'Unknown aircraft, you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'
Air Defense Site: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace, we will launch interceptor aircraft!'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 Fighter. Send 'em up, I'll wait!'
Air Defense Site: (... Total silence)
NUMBER 1:
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.
He was being cross-examined by a defence attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility.....
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No, sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes, sir.'
Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.
NUMBER 2:
Now We Know Why He Was a General -----
In an interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America.
His answer was classic Schwarzkopf.
The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function... OUR job is to arrange the meeting."
NUMBER 3:
Dana Perino (FOX News) describing an interview she recently had with a Navy SEAL. After discussing all the countries that he had been sent to, she asked if they had to learn several languages?
"Oh, no ma'am. We don't go there to talk."
NUMBER 4:
Conversation overheard on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai ..
Iranian Air Defense Site: 'Unknown aircraft, you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'
Air Defense Site: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace, we will launch interceptor aircraft!'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 Fighter. Send 'em up, I'll wait!'
Air Defense Site: (... Total silence)
Rules are there to make you think before you break them!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29856
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
Our economy is so bad that pensioners can’t afford to stay in expensive hotels any more...
We are now forced to go camping!
Not quite as extravagant as Cassie's! )
We are now forced to go camping!
Not quite as extravagant as Cassie's! )
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29856
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
You can kiss my butt! I'm not smelling those!!
(The dog's expression and stance is classic! )
(The dog's expression and stance is classic! )
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29856
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
The 3 yr old son of SWAMBO's friend lost his first tooth ....... I bet next time the little bugger will think twice about messing with SWAMBO's cellphone!!
The neighbour's kids just challenged me to a water fight ..... I'm in!! .... Just waiting for the kettle to boil!!
The neighbour's kids just challenged me to a water fight ..... I'm in!! .... Just waiting for the kettle to boil!!
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Thunder02
- Moderator
- Posts: 8033
- Joined: Fri Nov 26, 2010 7:53 pm
- Town: East Rand
- Vehicle: IFS Hilux
- Real Name: Neil
- Club VHF Licence: HC105
- Location: 4x4 Direct Boksburg
- Contact:
Re: Joke of the day
Andy
Not all those who wander are lost!
Scout motto:be prepared....
www.4x4direct.co.za
Email: boksburg@4x4direct.co.za
IFS is like a swambo, soft, sexy and expensive!
Scout motto:be prepared....
www.4x4direct.co.za
Email: boksburg@4x4direct.co.za
IFS is like a swambo, soft, sexy and expensive!