Joke of the day

KOBUSL · Post by **KOBUSL** » Sun Nov 16, 2014 3:21 pm

4 runner oldie · Post by **4 runner oldie** » Sun Nov 16, 2014 4:18 pm

ouch

4 runner oldie · Post by **4 runner oldie** » Sun Nov 16, 2014 4:20 pm

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4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Sun Nov 16, 2014 9:23 pm

4 runner oldie · Post by **4 runner oldie** » Mon Nov 17, 2014 5:01 pm

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New jets for Australia under trials . Rumour has our PM in back seat .

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Mon Nov 17, 2014 9:02 pm

KOBUSL · Post by **KOBUSL** » Tue Nov 18, 2014 10:08 am

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Warrior · Post by **Warrior** » Tue Nov 18, 2014 10:11 am

Cats stealing dogs bed
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_ ... _tn__=%2As" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Tue Nov 18, 2014 10:49 am

Bushwacker · Post by **Bushwacker** » Wed Nov 19, 2014 4:46 pm

· Jy word nie gebore met blou oë in Brakpan nie, jy fight
daarvoor pappie!

· Hoekom sny Brakpanners hul honde se sterte af? So as skoonma
kom kuier dat daar geen teken van blydskap is nie!!!

· Brakpan pick up line : Ek het asma maar ek voel altyd beter
na n pompie.

· Wat noem Brakpanners 'n brunet? Dis 'n uitgebrande blondine!

· Man in Brakpan restaurant vra kelner: "Het julle wilde
eend?" Kelner: "Nee meneer, maar ons kan vir jou 'n makke die moer in maak.?"

· Jan & Anna stap uit Brakpan Spar uit met 'n pram Anna kyk in
die pram en skree: "DISSIE VERKEERDE kind!!'' Jan sê: "Shhh dis 'n beter pram!"

· Spietkop stop Brakpanner omdat hy net 1 hooflig aan het!
Brakpanner: Tjomma, dis load shedding, ek sal later die anner een aan sit ok!

· Brakpan Ds: “Jan, hoeveel vroue dink jy moet ‘n man hê?”
Jan: “16, Dominee.” Ds: “Hoekom 16?” Jan: “4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better, 4 worse!

· Geskeide Brakpan man aan sy tjom: "Vrouens is soos kreef, al
die lekker in die onderlyf en al die *a* in die kop"

· Brakpan juffrou: Jan jou opstel oor jou hondjie is woord vir
woord selfde as jou boetie sin! Jan: Natuurlik dis dan dieselfde f*%@n hond!

· Brakpan gesegde - Voëls kan vlieg, maar vlieë kan nie voël nie.

· Wat noem Brakpanners "Blind Date" in Afrikaans? Proefsteek!

· Wat noem jy Brad Pitt as hy Brakpan toe trek? Tap Pitt.

Post by **Mud Dog** » Wed Nov 19, 2014 7:52 pm

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4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Wed Nov 19, 2014 7:57 pm

Post by **Mud Dog** » Wed Nov 19, 2014 8:07 pm

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4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Wed Nov 19, 2014 8:45 pm

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Wed Nov 19, 2014 9:25 pm

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Wed Nov 19, 2014 9:26 pm

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Wed Nov 19, 2014 9:33 pm

Post by **Mud Dog** » Thu Nov 20, 2014 6:55 am

You guys laughing at yourselves now?

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Thu Nov 20, 2014 8:07 am

Someone has to.
I laugh all the time at myself

Post by **Baasvark** » Thu Nov 20, 2014 8:48 am

Sorry guys, got to get my post count up

Toppie4x4 · Post by **Toppie4x4** » Thu Nov 20, 2014 8:54 am

only one??????

Post by **Mud Dog** » Thu Nov 20, 2014 2:35 pm

OK, that explains it!

Here's something more to laugh about .......... (or is it?) ....

malemanoma.jpg: (72.05 KiB) Downloaded 303 times

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Thu Nov 20, 2014 4:36 pm

Toppie4x4 · Post by **Toppie4x4** » Fri Nov 21, 2014 7:03 am

Kry vir jou Zuma

Post by **Mud Dog** » Fri Nov 21, 2014 9:48 am

Toppie4x4 · Post by **Toppie4x4** » Fri Nov 21, 2014 10:31 am

En dit lyk asof hy alleen is, beslis nie in SA nie, daar sou n groot span (toeskouers) gewees het.

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Fri Nov 21, 2014 4:18 pm

Die dokter stuur die ou oom huis toe met ’n klein, leë plastiekflessie.Die opdrag is om die flessie die volgende dag terug te bring met ’n monster van die oom se spermselle. Die dokter het gedink die ou takie sal so bietjie lank vat om af te handel in die spreekkamer – gegewe die oom se ouderdom.Die volgende dag is die oom terug; mismoedig met ’n leë flessie.“Nee, wat dokter, ek het alles probeer. Eers met die regterhand en toe met die linkerhand, maar daar was nie eers ’n klein bietjie beweging nie.”“Toe vra ek die tannie om te help. Sy het hom ook eers probeer met die hand, eers regs, toe links, maar niks nie. Nie dat sy toe opgee nie. Sy sit hom toe sommer in haar mond, maar hy wil nie roer nie.”“Dokter, ek het mos so ’n oulike buurvrou. Sy is links en ek dog dalk maak dit ’n verskil. Sy het hom toe so met die linkerhand probeer, toe regs, maar niks. Toe vertel ek vir haar my vrou het dit in haar mond gehad. Sy wou ook nie agterbly nie en het hom dadelik beet daar met die mond, maar geen akkels wat sy uithaal kon hom laat roer nie dokter.”“Dokter, vir die eerste keer in my lewe doen ek toe ’n vreemde ding. Ek roep die man wat daar by my in die tuin werk garage toe. Ek verduidelik my probleem en vra toe of hy nie wil help nie, aangesien hy so bietjie jonger as ons is. Hy sê dadelik ja en vat dit toe lekker stewig vas, eers links en toe regs, maar niks wil beweeg nie. Hy het toe ’n nuwe plan en knyp hom tussen sy bene vas, so terwyl hy met sy hande ook help druk en dan moes ek probeer om dit te wikkel. Ek skaam my dood as iemand daar moes inloop, en dit wou nie eens help nie.”“Nou is ek terug hier by jou dok, want geen donderse mens gaan ooit hierdie flessie oopkry nie.”

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Fri Nov 21, 2014 8:52 pm

Post by **Mud Dog** » Fri Nov 21, 2014 10:44 pm

VIRUS ALERT!

Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one.

It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1960.

Symptoms:

1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice... done that!

2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail! that too!

3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person. yep!

4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you. DUH!

5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment. well darn!

6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished. ... oh no - not again!

7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND." ...... and I just hate that!

8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE." ... Oh No!

IT IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS!!!"

Hmmm.... Have I already posted this before???

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Sat Nov 22, 2014 1:35 am

mmmmm............. i almost have the complete virus!!

ChrisF · Post by **ChrisF** » Sat Nov 22, 2014 11:24 am

Mud Dog wrote:VIRUS ALERT!

Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one.

It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1960.

Symptoms:

1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice... done that!

2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail! that too!

3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person. yep! ....

4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you. DUH!

5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment. well darn! .....

6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished. ... oh no - not again! .... easy fix - DONT enter any recipients until the email is FINISHED (and attachment attached) .... :boredom:

7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND." ...... and I just hate that!

8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE." ... Oh No!

IT IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS!!!"

Hmmm.... Have I already posted this before???

SO bly ek is n 68 model .... het net die helfte van die virus ....

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Sat Nov 22, 2014 8:58 pm

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Tue Nov 25, 2014 9:15 am

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4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Tue Nov 25, 2014 11:33 am

KOBUSL · Post by **KOBUSL** » Tue Nov 25, 2014 8:34 pm

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4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Tue Nov 25, 2014 8:38 pm

Oupa Stig · Post by **Oupa Stig** » Tue Nov 25, 2014 8:56 pm

Portapotty and dr Grabwell.

KOBUSL · Post by **KOBUSL** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 8:06 pm

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KOBUSL · Post by **KOBUSL** » Thu Nov 27, 2014 6:13 am

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Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Thu Nov 27, 2014 8:56 am

The guys were on a bike tour. No one wanted to room with Fanie, because he snored so badly.
They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first guy slept with Fanie and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "Fanie snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful! He said, 'man, that Fanie shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."
The third night was Dom's turn. He was a tanned, older biker, a man's man.
The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "man, what happened?"
He said, "Well, we got ready for bed.
I went and tucked Fanie in, patted him on the arse, and kissed him good night on the lips.
Fanie sat up and watched me me all night."

swartvark · Post by **swartvark** » Thu Nov 27, 2014 9:26 am

Thunder02 · Post by **Thunder02** » Thu Nov 27, 2014 2:50 pm

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

" Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are
you staying in Rome ?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican
and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant.
Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came
in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked
her about her trip to Rome .

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."

"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"

He said: "Who stuffed up your hair?"

4 runner oldie · Post by **4 runner oldie** » Thu Nov 27, 2014 4:03 pm

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Thu Nov 27, 2014 8:57 pm

Post by **Mud Dog** » Thu Nov 27, 2014 11:01 pm

phpBB [video]

View Original

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Fri Nov 28, 2014 9:29 am

KOBUSL · Post by **KOBUSL** » Mon Dec 01, 2014 8:57 pm

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4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Mon Dec 01, 2014 9:13 pm

Post by **Mud Dog** » Tue Dec 02, 2014 2:27 pm

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'

The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'

The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'

The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box.'

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.

He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'

The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'

Post by **Mud Dog** » Tue Dec 02, 2014 2:31 pm

Donation

Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'

'It is!'

'This is the Taxation Department. Can you help us?'

'I'll try!'

'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'

'I do!'

'Is he a member of your congregation?'

'He is!'

'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'

'He will!'

4 runner oldie · Post by **4 runner oldie** » Tue Dec 02, 2014 3:52 pm

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Tue Dec 02, 2014 7:35 pm

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Tue Dec 02, 2014 9:54 pm

Post by **Mud Dog** » Wed Dec 03, 2014 6:11 am

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'

The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'

The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'

The priest thought long and hard and then said, 'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.'

The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'

The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'

Post by **Mud Dog** » Wed Dec 03, 2014 6:28 am

A woman was having a passionate affair with an Irish inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

'Quick,' said the woman to the lover, 'into the closet!' and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet. 'Who are you?' he asked him.

'I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,' said the exterminator.

'What are you doing in there?' the husband asked.

'I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,' the man replied.

'And where are your clothes?' asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said, 'Those little bastards! '

Post by **Baasvark** » Wed Dec 03, 2014 6:50 am

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Wed Dec 03, 2014 8:07 am

Post by **Mud Dog** » Wed Dec 03, 2014 9:27 am

While I was walking around the Waterfront this morning around 6 AM,

I noticed an ANC politician slip from the dock and fall into the water.

He was struggling to stay afloat, because of all the bribes he was carrying.

If he didn't get help he'd surely drown.

Being a responsible South African citizen, abiding by the law of the land

that requires you to help those in distress, I informed the SAPS, the NSRI,

the Fire Brigade, and even the SANDF.

It is now 5:30 PM .

He has drowned, and not one of the authorities have yet responded.

................... I'm starting to think I wasted four stamps