Joke of the day

Post by **Mud Dog** » Sat Aug 02, 2014 2:58 pm

: pull finger.jpg (32.29 KiB) Viewed 9951 times

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Sun Aug 03, 2014 11:13 am

... no comment.

Obelix and Dogmatix · Sun Aug 03, 2014 12:09 pm

ME SITTING IN THE OFFICE ON A SUNDAY WORKING!!!!! :sobbing: :sobbing:

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Sun Aug 03, 2014 7:39 pm

Pote · Post by **Pote** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 11:03 am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OIJRMqYAA0" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Got to watch this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thunder02 · Post by **Thunder02** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 11:52 am

Obelix and Dogmatix wrote:ME SITTING IN THE OFFICE ON A SUNDAY WORKING!!!!! :sobbing: :sobbing:

Now that is a funny one

Post by **Mud Dog** » Tue Aug 05, 2014 9:20 pm

: smack.png (30.13 KiB) Viewed 9820 times

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 8:19 pm

WESKUSKLONG · Post by **WESKUSKLONG** » Thu Aug 07, 2014 7:49 am

Post by **CasKru** » Thu Aug 07, 2014 7:57 am

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Thu Aug 07, 2014 1:01 pm

: Gatiep.jpg (12.92 KiB) Viewed 9703 times

Mylux · Post by **Mylux** » Thu Aug 07, 2014 6:32 pm

Post by **Mud Dog** » Thu Aug 07, 2014 8:27 pm

A Blonde joke that you may not have heard before .......

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!'

The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady, why don't you go give it a try?'

The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, and spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.

He saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blond took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank.

Nearby were 7 more dead gators all lying belly up. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blond struggled with the gator.

Then, rolling her eyes, she screamed in frustration......

THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Thu Aug 07, 2014 8:32 pm

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Thu Aug 07, 2014 8:57 pm

Post by **Mud Dog** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 11:49 am

Would you tell him, ..... or just watch?

WATCH.JPG: (35.2 KiB) Downloaded 312 times

Obelix and Dogmatix · Fri Aug 08, 2014 11:58 am

that looks a lot like a nissan so maybe just maybe watch, his reaction afterwards!! :evil: :evil:

Post by **Mud Dog** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 12:15 pm

Telephone rings, woman answers.
Pervert, breathing heavily, says,
"I bet you have a tight arse with no hair?"
Woman replies, "Yes, I have. He's watching the rugby....
Who shall I say is calling?"

Genis · Post by **Genis** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 12:45 pm

Mud Dog wrote:Telephone rings, woman answers.
Pervert, breathing heavily, says,
"I bet you have a tight arse with no hair?"
Woman replies, "Yes, I have. He's watching the rugby....
Who shall I say is calling?"

Bwhahaha!!!

Genis · Post by **Genis** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 12:47 pm

A young Brakpan woman was so depressed she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the harbour at the V&A Waterfront.
Just before she could throw herself from the dock, a handsome young man from Parow stopped her.

"You have so much to live for," said the man.

"I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow.

I can stow you away on our ship.

I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."

With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy,*the woman accepted.

That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold.

From then on every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn.

Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.

“What are you doing here?" asked the captain.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied.

"He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy*..."
"I see," the captain says.
Her conscience got the better of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Robben Island ferry."

KOBUSL · Post by **KOBUSL** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 1:34 pm

: SPIETKOP14.jpg (19.05 KiB) Viewed 9625 times

Post by **Mud Dog** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 3:49 pm

I suppose you've all heard about the dumb blonde that thought an Itchymickey was a Japanese motor-cycle. :shifty:

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 7:52 pm

grobbepj · Post by **grobbepj** » Sun Aug 10, 2014 10:25 am

Can you follow the simple instructions...

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1407659123.966450.jpg: (231.17 KiB) Downloaded 250 times

KOBUSL · Post by **KOBUSL** » Sun Aug 10, 2014 4:28 pm

: GRAFSTEEN14.jpg (22.24 KiB) Viewed 9536 times

grobbepj · Post by **grobbepj** » Sun Aug 10, 2014 5:52 pm

: ImageUploadedByTapatalk1407685970.302375.jpg (79.84 KiB) Viewed 9526 times

Skobejak · Post by **Skobejak** » Sun Aug 10, 2014 5:53 pm

Obelix and Dogmatix · Post by **Obelix and Dogmatix** » Wed Aug 13, 2014 8:45 am

My Favorite Animal
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.
My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
He said they love animals very much.
I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.
I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.
She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.
Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders."
Guess where the f___ I am now...

Toppie4x4 · Post by **Toppie4x4** » Wed Aug 13, 2014 9:46 am

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Wed Aug 13, 2014 10:30 am

KOBUSL · Post by **KOBUSL** » Wed Aug 13, 2014 1:05 pm

: ROES14.jpg (50.13 KiB) Viewed 9985 times

: KALKOEN14.jpg (11.71 KiB) Viewed 9985 times

FOON14.jpg: (72.39 KiB) Downloaded 681 times

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Wed Aug 13, 2014 7:48 pm

Post by **Mud Dog** » Thu Aug 14, 2014 8:41 am

A young jackaroo from outback Queensland goes off to university, but

halfway through the semester he has squandered all of his money.

He calls home.

'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education is developing.

they actually have a program here in Brisbane that will teach our dog

Ol' Blue how to talk.'

'That's amazing!' his Dad says. 'How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?'

'Just send him down here with $2,000,' the young jackaroo says, 'I'll

get him in the course.'

So his father sends the dog and $2,000.

About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out.

The boy calls home.

'So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?' his father wants to know.

'Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm... But you just won't believe

this. They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to teach the

animals how to read.'

'Read?' exclaims his father. 'No kidding! How do we get Ol' Blue in that program?'

'Just send $4,500. I'll get him in the class.'

The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of

the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read.

So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his

father is all excited.

'Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him

read something!'

'Dad,' the boy says, 'I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we

left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner,

reading the Wall Street Journal. Then he suddenly turned to me and asked,

'So, is your daddy still bonking that little redhead barmaid at the pub?''

The father groans and whispers,

'I hope you shot that bastard before he talks to your Mother!'

'I sure did, Dad!'

'That's my boy!'

The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.

Post by **LouisZ** » Thu Aug 14, 2014 9:22 am

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Thu Aug 14, 2014 7:32 pm

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Thu Aug 14, 2014 7:33 pm

Genis · Post by **Genis** » Fri Aug 15, 2014 6:36 am

HAHAHA!!! Daai lobola outbreak is vrek goed!

Bosfebok · Post by **Bosfebok** » Fri Aug 15, 2014 1:09 pm

Ford.jpg: (48.56 KiB) Downloaded 520 times

Post by **Mud Dog** » Fri Aug 15, 2014 9:43 pm

Canadian police chase .....

: canadian-police-chase_original.gif.gif (809.99 KiB) Viewed 9786 times

Post by **Mud Dog** » Fri Aug 15, 2014 10:09 pm

phpBB [video]

View Original

petrolkop · Post by **petrolkop** » Fri Aug 15, 2014 10:35 pm

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Sun Aug 17, 2014 10:50 pm

Tequila.jpg: (49.84 KiB) Downloaded 450 times

Post by **Mud Dog** » Sun Aug 17, 2014 11:31 pm

I was walking along a beach when I came across a lamp partially buried in the sand.

I picked up the lamp and gave it a rub. A genie appeared and told me I had been granted one wish.

I thought for a moment and said, "I want to live forever."

"Sorry," said the genie, "I'm not allowed to grant eternal life."

"OK, then, I want to die after the ANC government balances the budget, eliminates the debt and stamps out corruption”

"You sneaky little bastard," said the genie…

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 8:54 am

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 12:13 pm

Alchohol.jpg: (62.09 KiB) Downloaded 396 times

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 5:12 pm

Mylux · Post by **Mylux** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 8:29 pm

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 10:28 pm

: naai.jpg (9.39 KiB) Viewed 9633 times

BushMad · Post by **BushMad** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 11:48 pm

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:03 pm

Post by **Mud Dog** » Tue Aug 19, 2014 10:41 pm

: pop.jpg (28.88 KiB) Viewed 9593 times

Obelix and Dogmatix · Post by **Obelix and Dogmatix** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 8:42 am

Mud Dog wrote:
pop.jpg

to true

Post by **Haboob** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 1:14 pm

: flag1.jpg (52.12 KiB) Viewed 9546 times

: flag2.jpg (58.45 KiB) Viewed 9546 times

: flag3.jpg (47.63 KiB) Viewed 9546 times

Adventures4Christ · Post by **Adventures4Christ** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 3:24 pm

IMG-20140606-WA0001.jpg: (18.3 KiB) Downloaded 220 times

Obelix and Dogmatix · Thu Aug 21, 2014 12:40 pm

Obelix and Dogmatix · Post by **Obelix and Dogmatix** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 1:55 pm

FOUR OF THE YEAR'S BEST COMEBACK RESPONSES
NUMBER 1:

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.
He was being cross-examined by a defence attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility.....

Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No, sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'

Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'

Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'

Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'

Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'

Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes, sir.'

Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.

NUMBER 2:
Now We Know Why He Was a General -----

In an interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America.
His answer was classic Schwarzkopf.

The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function... OUR job is to arrange the meeting."

NUMBER 3:

Dana Perino (FOX News) describing an interview she recently had with a Navy SEAL. After discussing all the countries that he had been sent to, she asked if they had to learn several languages?

"Oh, no ma'am. We don't go there to talk."

NUMBER 4:
Conversation overheard on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai ..

Iranian Air Defense Site: 'Unknown aircraft, you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'

Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'

Air Defense Site: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace, we will launch interceptor aircraft!'

Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 Fighter. Send 'em up, I'll wait!'

Air Defense Site: (... Total silence)

Post by **Mud Dog** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 7:23 pm

Our economy is so bad that pensioners can’t afford to stay in expensive hotels any more...

We are now forced to go camping!

: CAMPING.JPG (32.39 KiB) Viewed 9441 times

Not quite as extravagant as Cassie's!

)

Post by **Mud Dog** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 7:45 pm

You can kiss my butt! I'm not smelling those!!

b-hound.jpg: (89.98 KiB) Downloaded 135 times

(The dog's expression and stance is classic!

)

Post by **Mud Dog** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 8:17 pm

The 3 yr old son of SWAMBO's friend lost his first tooth ....... I bet next time the little bugger will think twice about messing with SWAMBO's cellphone!!

The neighbour's kids just challenged me to a water fight ..... I'm in!! .... Just waiting for the kettle to boil!!

Thunder02 · Post by **Thunder02** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 8:19 pm

Andy