IF MY BODY WAS A CAR...

Share your jokes and funny campfire stories with us here.
Forum rules
Please keep it light hearted enol. No serious stufs hey! :)

BEFORE YOU START A NEW JOKES THREAD PLEASE TAKE NOTE:
We are trying to make the technical information more visible in the Active Topics section. So we are trying to combine all the humour posts into a single thread. This will then more or less always stay on the active topics page if you keep appending your jokes onto this single thread. Your assistance will be greatly appreciated
Post Reply
User avatar
george
Monster Truck
Monster Truck
Posts: 6565
Joined: Wed May 23, 2007 11:16 am
Town: Velddrif
Vehicle: Triton 3.5l V6
Real Name: George
Club VHF Licence: HC107
Location: Velddrif
Contact:

IF MY BODY WAS A CAR...

Post by george »

Vir die oompies en tannies :silent:


If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull ...
But that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --




Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!
"The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.-Saint Augustine"
User avatar
jacques kotze
Monster Truck
Monster Truck
Posts: 3616
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:51 am
Town: Nelspruit
Vehicle: 2,8 4x4 Auto Fortuner. 2,8 4x4 Hilux singlecab.
Real Name: Jacques
Contact:

Re: IF MY BODY WAS A CAR...

Post by jacques kotze »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
User avatar
CasKru
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 23956
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 11:52 am
Town: Benoni
Vehicle: '94 Hilux Raider 2.4i (22RE) DC 4x4
Real Name: Cassie
Club VHF Licence: B15
Location: Rynfield

Re: IF MY BODY WAS A CAR...

Post by CasKru »

:laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2:
To God be the glory
User avatar
Mud Dog
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 29857
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
Town: East London
Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
Real Name: Andy
Club VHF Licence: HC103

Re: IF MY BODY WAS A CAR...

Post by Mud Dog »

:laugh2: :laugh2: Ah, well, thanks for that because now I realise that I'm not old yet!! :D: ;-)
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.

Image
Image

Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
OOOOMS
Top Web Wheeler
Top Web Wheeler
Posts: 19468
Joined: Tue Jul 16, 2013 7:09 am

Re: IF MY BODY WAS A CAR...

Post by OOOOMS »

Mud Dog wrote::laugh2: :laugh2: Ah, well, thanks for that because now I realise that I'm not old yet!! :D: ;-)
Says who.... :!: :!: :!:
User avatar
TheoF
LR 4WD Rear Locker
LR 4WD Rear Locker
Posts: 372
Joined: Sun Mar 07, 2010 4:02 am
Town: Mosselbaai
Vehicle: Hilux 3.0 D-4D SC 4x4
Real Name: Theo Fourie

Re: IF MY BODY WAS A CAR...

Post by TheoF »

LFL
:lol: :lol: :lol:
User avatar
Mud Dog
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 29857
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
Town: East London
Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
Real Name: Andy
Club VHF Licence: HC103

Re: IF MY BODY WAS A CAR...

Post by Mud Dog »

OOOOMS wrote:
Mud Dog wrote::laugh2: :laugh2: Ah, well, thanks for that because now I realise that I'm not old yet!! :D: ;-)
Says who.... :!: :!: :!:
Says me wot counts! :laugh2: :laugh2: Passop ou maat, jy's nie te ver agter my nie! :D: ;-)
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.

Image
Image

Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
OOOOMS
Top Web Wheeler
Top Web Wheeler
Posts: 19468
Joined: Tue Jul 16, 2013 7:09 am

Re: IF MY BODY WAS A CAR...

Post by OOOOMS »

Mud Dog wrote:
OOOOMS wrote:
Mud Dog wrote::laugh2: :laugh2: Ah, well, thanks for that because now I realise that I'm not old yet!! :D: ;-)
Says who.... :!: :!: :!:
Says me wot counts! :laugh2: :laugh2: Passop ou maat, jy's nie te ver agter my nie! :D: ;-)
Bla, blk bla....whatever.... :lol: :lol: :lol:
User avatar
Mud Dog
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 29857
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
Town: East London
Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
Real Name: Andy
Club VHF Licence: HC103

Re: IF MY BODY WAS A CAR...

Post by Mud Dog »

OOOOMS wrote:
Mud Dog wrote:
OOOOMS wrote:Says who.... :!: :!: :!:
Says me wot counts! :laugh2: :laugh2: Passop ou maat, jy's nie te ver agter my nie! :D: ;-)
Bla,blk bla....whatever.... :lol: :lol: :lol:
See what I mean!?? :laugh2: :laugh2: ..... and you can't blame "a slip of the finger" because "a" and "k" are on opposite sides of the keyboard! :D:
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.

Image
Image

Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
MaPaZa
High Range 4WD
High Range 4WD
Posts: 57
Joined: Wed May 19, 2010 9:22 pm
Town: White River
Vehicle: Hilux Raider v6 4.0 ; SYNCRO 2l
Real Name: Jan

Re: IF MY BODY WAS A CAR...

Post by MaPaZa »

Waarvan praat julle? Ons het hier ook goeie reen gehad.
User avatar
Thunder02
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 8033
Joined: Fri Nov 26, 2010 7:53 pm
Town: East Rand
Vehicle: IFS Hilux
Real Name: Neil
Club VHF Licence: HC105
Location: 4x4 Direct Boksburg
Contact:

Re: IF MY BODY WAS A CAR...

Post by Thunder02 »

:laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2: :crazy: :laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2:
Not all those who wander are lost!

Scout motto:be prepared....
www.4x4direct.co.za
Email: boksburg@4x4direct.co.za
IFS is like a swambo, soft, sexy and expensive!
Post Reply

Return to “Humor”