Joke of the day

Potifar · Post by **Potifar** » Mon Sep 16, 2013 11:05 am

Terwyl ons nou op die onderwerp is, hier is 'n paar prag voorbeelde van wat die bokke met Romain Poite moes gedoen het.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHgGd-a8zj8" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Bosfebok · Post by **Bosfebok** » Thu Sep 19, 2013 10:38 am

So true :!:

Pote · Post by **Pote** » Thu Sep 19, 2013 10:40 am

Post by **CasKru** » Thu Sep 19, 2013 10:44 am

bwahahahahaha

Thunder02 · Post by **Thunder02** » Thu Sep 19, 2013 12:25 pm

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Fri Sep 20, 2013 2:32 pm

A seriously depressed woman stands at the edge of a cliff, trying to get the nerve up to jump.
A passing hobo stops and says, "since you're about to kill yourself anyway, would you mind if we have sex first?"
The woman said "Hell no...get away from me!"
The bum turned to leave and muttered "Fine, I'll just go wait at the bottom."

....don't think she jumped

Thunder02 · Post by **Thunder02** » Fri Sep 20, 2013 4:38 pm

Hoppy wrote:A seriously depressed woman stands at the edge of a cliff, trying to get the nerve up to jump.
A passing hobo stops and says, "since you're about to kill yourself anyway, would you mind if we have sex first?"
The woman said "Hell no...get away from me!"
The bum turned to leave and muttered "Fine, I'll just go wait at the bottom."

....don't think she jumped

Donkey · Post by **Donkey** » Fri Sep 20, 2013 5:43 pm

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Fri Sep 20, 2013 10:21 pm

Post by **Mud Dog** » Sat Sep 21, 2013 10:51 am

Sies man!

.........

Masekind · Post by **Masekind** » Sun Sep 22, 2013 7:02 am

Lol

Sent from my SGP321 using Tapatalk 4

Post by **Baasvark** » Sun Sep 22, 2013 8:41 am

Taljaag · Post by **Taljaag** » Sun Sep 22, 2013 3:52 pm

Boet Croukamp · Post by **Boet Croukamp** » Sun Sep 22, 2013 7:36 pm

Ek hoor jy kan n Landrover by Checkers koop wat jy opwen dan staan hy en olie lek vir n halfuur.

Masekind · Post by **Masekind** » Sun Sep 22, 2013 7:52 pm

Sent from my SGP321 using Tapatalk 4

smokintyres · Post by **smokintyres** » Mon Sep 23, 2013 3:36 pm

Boet Croukamp wrote:Ek hoor jy kan n Landrover by Checkers koop wat jy opwen dan staan hy en olie lek vir n halfuur.

smokintyres · Post by **smokintyres** » Mon Sep 23, 2013 3:40 pm

: a44Gvnd_460s.jpg (65.41 KiB) Viewed 11121 times

KOBUSL · Post by **KOBUSL** » Mon Sep 23, 2013 9:07 pm

bells-whistles1.gif: (83.05 KiB) Downloaded 335 times

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Mon Sep 23, 2013 9:43 pm

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Tue Sep 24, 2013 9:28 pm

Sjoe!! Dit reën al vir 3 dae by ons.... Al wat my skoonma doen is deur die venster staar.... As dit so aangaan , sal ek haar seker moet laat in kom!

Thunder02 · Post by **Thunder02** » Tue Sep 24, 2013 10:11 pm

I can just feel the love for fellow people on this forum

Post by **Baasvark** » Tue Sep 24, 2013 10:23 pm

Piesang · Post by **Piesang** » Tue Sep 24, 2013 10:33 pm

Hoppy wrote:Sjoe!! Dit reën al vir 3 dae by ons.... Al wat my skoonma doen is deur die venster staar.... As dit so aangaan , sal ek haar seker moet laat in kom!

dit gebeur nogal regtig by ons. Ons kombuis venster kyk reg op haar woonsteldeur en dan kom staan sy partykeer by die venster en gesels en as dit so erg reën staan sy net op die trap en waai vir ons. So volgende keer as dit weer reën en sy staan daar gaan ek my nat maak van die lag

Piesang · Post by **Piesang** » Wed Sep 25, 2013 8:29 pm

Hes waiting on the hilux for help

Post by **CasKru** » Thu Sep 26, 2013 7:24 am

A man walks into a zoo, and the only animal there is a dog. It was a Shitzu.

Masekind · Post by **Masekind** » Thu Sep 26, 2013 7:26 am

Post by **Mud Dog** » Thu Sep 26, 2013 12:58 pm

Wisdom that comes with age.

An old Woman was asked, "At your ripe age, what would you prefer to get : Parkinsons or Alzheimers?"

The wise one answered, "Definitely Parkinsons - Better to spill half my wine than to forget where I keep the bottle."

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Thu Sep 26, 2013 4:13 pm

Why does only fairies sit on mushrooms?

...cause there aint much room.

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Thu Sep 26, 2013 10:04 pm

Post by **Modder Tekkies** » Thu Sep 26, 2013 10:12 pm

[quote="Piesang"]

Die perd gaan op die harde manier leer dat 'n landy se brieke nie betroubaar is nie

Thunder02 · Post by **Thunder02** » Thu Sep 26, 2013 10:18 pm

Some stickers

: $T2eC16ZHJIkE9qU3k6ZOBP+EU6rL7!~~60_35.jpg (11.77 KiB) Viewed 11277 times

: 145162934_4wd-4x4-funny-came-saw-locked-the-hubs-decal-sticker-.jpg (6.24 KiB) Viewed 11277 times

: Beer-Funny-Vinyl-Decal-4x4-4wd-Mud-Off-Road-Sticker-Hnk-for-sale_280651750038.jpg (17.05 KiB) Viewed 11277 times

warning_large_donttouch_4x4.jpg: (75.28 KiB) Downloaded 438 times

aintshit.jpg: (33.05 KiB) Downloaded 438 times

excuse last one,delete if need be MODS.

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Thu Sep 26, 2013 10:20 pm

Ek lees mos nou dat 'n Suid-Afrikaner gemiddeld 800km 'n jaar loop...

En gemiddeld 42liter brandewyn 'n jaar drink...

Ek dink nie 19km/liter is te sleg nie!

Post by **Baasvark** » Thu Sep 26, 2013 10:24 pm

Hoppy wrote:Ek lees mos nou dat 'n Suid-Afrikaner gemiddeld 800km 'n jaar loop...

En gemiddeld 42liter brandewyn 'n jaar drink...

Ek dink nie 19km/liter is te sleg nie!

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Thu Sep 26, 2013 10:24 pm

As Miley Cyrus kaal is en n hammer lek …. Is dit “kuns” en “musiek”

As ek dit doen is dit “mal” en word uit Builders Warehouse gejaag ! …..

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Thu Sep 26, 2013 10:35 pm

Sipho en Thomas gan die winkel in.
Soos hulle loop steel Sipho 3 Bar One tjoklits.

Buite gekom se Sipho vi Thomas:
"Man ek's die beste skelm ooit! Ek het 3 Bar Ones gsteel en niemand hetmy gesien nie. Jy kan mY nie beat nie, anyway dis myne, jy kan jou eie steel !"

Thomas antwoord:
"Wil jy iets beter sien?

Kom ons gan terug winkel toe en ek wys jou hoe steel mens eintlik!"

Hulle gan toe terug, da gekom se Thomas vir die eienaar:
"Wil jy regte magic sien?"

Die eienaar se toe ja.

Thomas se toe:
"Gee my 'n Bar one."

Die eienaar gee hom een en hy eet dit. Hy vra vir 'n 2de, en hy eet dit ook. Hy vra vir 'n 3de en hy eet dit ook.

Die eienaar vra: "Nou waar's die magic?"

Thomas antwoord:
"Kyk in Sipho se sak!!

Frederick · Post by **Frederick** » Fri Sep 27, 2013 11:38 am

Waar is Malema se kar dat ons dit daarop kan gaan plak

KOBUSL · Post by **KOBUSL** » Tue Oct 01, 2013 7:29 pm

Removed.

Oupa Stig · Post by **Oupa Stig** » Tue Oct 01, 2013 7:47 pm

OK, ons almal het nou daai lelike ding gesien. Kan die mods hom nie maar nou afhaal nie, asb?
Ernstig, ek gril my dood elke keer as ek hom sien, en om daar by verby te scroll om 'n nuwe grappie te sien is net nie die moeite werd nie! Dis soos 'n motor ongeluk, jy kan nie help om te kyk nie... En dan weer te gril nie. Samblief, haal hom (ek dink dis 'n "hom"???) af!

Post by **Mud Dog** » Tue Oct 01, 2013 8:54 pm

Oupa Stig wrote:OK, ons almal het nou daai lelike ding gesien. Kan die mods hom nie maar nou afhaal nie, asb?
Ernstig, ek gril my dood elke keer as ek hom sien, en om daar by verby te scroll om 'n nuwe grappie te sien is net nie die moeite werd nie! Dis soos 'n motor ongeluk, jy kan nie help om te kyk nie... En dan weer te gril nie. Samblief, haal hom (ek dink dis 'n "hom"???) af!

Can't agree more ..... removed!

Donkey · Post by **Donkey** » Tue Oct 01, 2013 9:43 pm

Need we say more?

4 runner oldie · Post by **4 runner oldie** » Wed Oct 02, 2013 4:26 am

funny-dog-Up-squirrel.jpg: (60.21 KiB) Downloaded 321 times

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Wed Oct 02, 2013 10:27 am

: both lanes.jpg (32.52 KiB) Viewed 11139 times

Post by **Mud Dog** » Sun Oct 06, 2013 3:43 pm

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide".

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen.
Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription!"

:shifty:

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Sun Oct 06, 2013 6:13 pm

Post by **Baasvark** » Sun Oct 06, 2013 7:22 pm

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Mon Oct 07, 2013 12:24 pm

A woman comes home early and finds her husband in bed with a female midget.

Furious, she screams;

"You promised you wouldn't ever cheat on me again ..... !"

The husband replies;

"For pete's sake, can't you see I'm trying to cut down ......."

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Mon Oct 07, 2013 12:27 pm

MALE VS. FEMALE LOGIC!

Woman:
Do you drink Guinness?

Man: Yes
Woman:
How many a day?
Man:
Usually about 3
Woman:
How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $9.00

(This is where it gets scary !)

Woman:
And how long have you been drinking?
Man:
About 20 years, I suppose
Woman:
So a Guinness costs $9 and you have 3 a day which puts your spending each month at $810. In one year, it would be approximately $9855 …correct?

Man:
Correct
Woman:
If in 1 year you spend $9855, not accounting for inflation, the past
20 years puts your spending at $197,100, correct?
Man:
Correct
Woman:
Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much Guinness, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting

for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man:
Do you drink Guinness?
Woman:
No
Man:
Where’s your Ferrari?

Piesang · Post by **Piesang** » Mon Oct 07, 2013 2:09 pm

Hoppy wrote:MALE VS. FEMALE LOGIC!

Woman:
Do you drink Guinness?

Man: Yes
Woman:
How many a day?
Man:
Usually about 3
Woman:
How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $9.00

(This is where it gets scary !)

Woman:
And how long have you been drinking?
Man:
About 20 years, I suppose
Woman:
So a Guinness costs $9 and you have 3 a day which puts your spending each month at $810. In one year, it would be approximately $9855 …correct?

Man:
Correct
Woman:
If in 1 year you spend $9855, not accounting for inflation, the past
20 years puts your spending at $197,100, correct?
Man:
Correct
Woman:
Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much Guinness, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting

for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man:
Do you drink Guinness?
Woman:
No
Man:
Where’s your Ferrari?

Men: beer = one Ferrari
Woman: hair, nails, + + + + + + + + + + +, = 10 Ferraris

Piesang · Post by **Piesang** » Mon Oct 07, 2013 2:34 pm

A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to China on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese man hands over the keys of his new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out.

The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese man for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Chinese man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”

The Chinese man replies: “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Tue Oct 08, 2013 7:08 pm

chocolate.jpg: (67.11 KiB) Downloaded 161 times

GI Jane · Post by **GI Jane** » Tue Oct 08, 2013 7:42 pm

Thunder02 · Post by **Thunder02** » Tue Oct 08, 2013 7:48 pm

Makes sense why it's women's top diet salad.

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Tue Oct 08, 2013 8:16 pm

Die boer help sy koei om geboorte te gee, en na n lang geveg kry hy toe die kalfie uit, toe hy omdraai staan sy 5 jarige seuntjie agter hom met groot ogies.
Hy dog toe by homself hy sal nou seker die hele blommetjies en bytjies ding moet verduidelik vir sy seuntjie.
Net toe hy wou begin verduidelik vra sy seun hom;
"Pa, hoe vinnig dink pa het die kalfie gehardloop toe hy die koei getref het?

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Tue Oct 08, 2013 8:54 pm

'n Bietjie Afrikaanse opvoeding op hierdie dag. Oorvertel vir die waarheid, die volle waarheid en niks Anders as die waarheid nie!!! (Skool humor)

Op 'n Maandagoggend het die hele skool soos gewoonlik in die saal vergader.

Die skoolhoof het soos gewoonlik sy storie vertel, die eerste rugbyspan geprys, die skoolkommittee hartlik bedank, die kinders met stories bang gemaak - nie dat ek dink kinders skrik meer vir enigiets minder as die doodstraf wat hulle weet hulle nie opgele kan word nie.

Hy betuig verder sy dankbaarheid teenoor die kinders wat hulle siviele eise teen die skool teruggetrek het en vir die wat nie meer in die klaskamers rook nie.

Op die verhoog staan daar twee kartondose. In hierdie kartondose is daar Bybels wat deur die Gideon Organisasie (dis die ouens wat Bybels in hotelle ens. Plaas) aan die skool geskenk is. Die idee is om vir alle kinders wat nie bybels het nie, 'n bybeltjie te gee.

Omdat hierdie nogal 'n noemenswaardige gebaar is, het twee van die Gideon mense na die skool gekom om die Bybels te oorhandig. Die twee sit so half eenkant - weg van die onderwysers af.

Toe die hoof klaar is met sy aankondigings, kyk hy so op na die kinders, en sonder om 'n beat te mis, swaai hy sy hand so na die twee Gideon mense se kant toe en sê:

"Julle wonder seker wat hierdie twee dose op die verhoog maak?"

Nodeloos om te se die volgende oomblik het chaos uitgebars en die onderwysers rapporteer dat dit onmoontlik was om enigiets die moeite werd vir twee dae in die kinders se koppe te kry, aangesien hulle telkens uitgebars het van die lag.

Die arme twee Gideons het nie 'n woord kon inkry nie en die twee dose met Bybels in is onuitgedeel na die hoof se kantoor verskuif.

N.S. Dis hoekom 'n "box" 'n boks is en nie 'n kardoes nie!

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Tue Oct 08, 2013 9:29 pm

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Tue Oct 08, 2013 10:39 pm

: WTF.jpg (20.22 KiB) Viewed 10977 times

Zandyl · Post by **Zandyl** » Wed Oct 09, 2013 12:54 am

CHEWING GUM!

An Australian man was having a
coffee and croissants with butter
and jam in a cafe when an
American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.

The Australian politely ignored the American,
who, nevertheless started up a conversation.

The American snapped his gum and said, 'You
Australian folk eat the whole bread?'

The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered
during his breakfast, and replied, 'of course.'

The American blew a huge bubble. 'We don't.
In the States, we only eat what's inside. ?
The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them,
transform them into croissants and sell them to
Australia .'

The American had a smirk on his face.
The Australian listened in silence.

The American persisted, 'D'ya eat jam with your bread?'
Sighing, the Australian replied, 'of course.'

Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said,
'we don't. In the States, we eat fresh fruit
for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds
and the leftovers in containers, recycle them,
transform them into jam and sell it to Australia ..

The Australian then asked,
'Do you have sex in the States?'

The American smiled and said
'Why of course we do.'
The Australian leaned closer to him and asked,
'And what do you do with the
condoms once you've used them?'

'We throw them away, of course!'

Now it was the Australians turn to smile.

'We don't. In Australia , we put them in a container,
recycle them, melt them down into chewing
gum and sell them to the United States .
Why do you think it's called Wrigley's?

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Wed Oct 09, 2013 4:11 pm

THE BARBER

A Guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About 2 hours.'

The guy left.

A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?'

The barber looked around at the shop and said, 'About 3 hours.'

The guy left.

A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?'

The barber looked around the shop and said, 'About an hour and a half' .

The guy left.

The barber turned to his friend and said, 'Hey, Bob, do me a favour , follow him and see where he goes.
He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back.

A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.

The barber asked, 'So, where does he go when he leaves?'

Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said....

'Your house'

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Wed Oct 09, 2013 4:38 pm

Post by **Baasvark** » Wed Oct 09, 2013 6:30 pm