Joke of the day

Riaan S · Post by **Riaan S** » Sun Feb 22, 2015 3:21 pm

Riaan S · Post by **Riaan S** » Sun Feb 22, 2015 3:30 pm

Definition of wedding day: the day the bride gets her master's degree and husband looses his bachelor's degree...

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Sun Feb 22, 2015 6:03 pm

Some nice old ones there

Bushwacker · Post by **Bushwacker** » Wed Feb 25, 2015 7:04 am

Not really a joke...

Toppie4x4 · Post by **Toppie4x4** » Wed Feb 25, 2015 7:10 am

nice photo shop dit pas hom soos n handskoen

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Wed Feb 25, 2015 7:51 am

Sy pa moes dit gedra het, nie hy nie

Lets Play · Post by **Lets Play** » Thu Feb 26, 2015 8:16 am

vanthev8man · Post by **vanthev8man** » Thu Feb 26, 2015 6:01 pm

4x4BEES wrote:Sy pa moes dit gedra het, nie hy nie

skerp!!!

Warrior · Post by **Warrior** » Thu Feb 26, 2015 9:56 pm

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Fri Feb 27, 2015 7:34 am

Warrior · Post by **Warrior** » Fri Feb 27, 2015 9:16 am

Post by **Mud Dog** » Fri Feb 27, 2015 10:53 am

Unacceptable Humor!

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the sidewalk! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should change dentists?

A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair!

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening".

There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber jackets.

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.

A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a mustache."

The Red Cross just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches to the driveway!

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Fri Feb 27, 2015 1:12 pm

@ warrior - I see he too likes to live dangerously

@ mud dog - some VERY bad ones there

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Fri Feb 27, 2015 8:54 pm

grobbepj · Post by **grobbepj** » Sat Feb 28, 2015 7:18 am

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1425100682.807467.jpg: (92.88 KiB) Downloaded 398 times

A truth but still funny!!!

4 runner oldie · Post by **4 runner oldie** » Sat Feb 28, 2015 8:35 am

An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost.

Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old Doberman thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in it now!"

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the panther is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.

"Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old Doberman nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther.

So, off he goes.

The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.

The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

Now, the old Doberman sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says .......

"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"

Moral of this story...

Don't mess with the old dogs...

Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!

Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience

KOBUSL · Post by **KOBUSL** » Sat Feb 28, 2015 11:15 am

HAAI15.jpg: (26.9 KiB) Downloaded 381 times

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Sat Feb 28, 2015 7:32 pm

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Sat Feb 28, 2015 9:50 pm

Warrior · Post by **Warrior** » Sun Mar 01, 2015 10:46 am

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Sun Mar 01, 2015 11:38 am

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Sun Mar 01, 2015 11:56 am

Maybe a mall-crawler would've been beter

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Sun Mar 01, 2015 1:20 pm

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Sun Mar 01, 2015 3:00 pm

Warrior · Post by **Warrior** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 2:01 pm

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 2:38 pm

Post by **Mud Dog** » Fri Mar 06, 2015 8:05 pm

A passenger is sitting in an aircraft belonging to the newest proudly South
African Airline - strictly BEE.

He is approached by the locally trained stewardess and the conversation
goes like this:

Thank you for flying Cloud Nine Taxi Association Airways.

What would you like to drink?

Do you have dry white wine?

Sorry sir, we only have wet white wine.

What would you like to drink?

Can you give me a Grand Cru?

Sorry sir, but the ground crew they don't fly.

What would you like to drink?

Do you have Bols?

No sir, but the Captain has.

What would you like to drink?

Please give me a Captain Morgan.

Sorry sir, the captain is Tshabalala,

but he is flying the plane right now.

What would you like to drink?

Just give me coffee.

Sure. How would you like it sir?

Decaffeinated ...

HE WAS ARRESTED AND JAILED FOR 5 YEARS!

ChrisF · Post by **ChrisF** » Fri Mar 06, 2015 9:29 pm

replies may land us in jail as well ....

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Fri Mar 06, 2015 11:25 pm

Post by **Family_Dog** » Sun Mar 08, 2015 9:57 am

I must have a warped mind, 'cos I couldn't help but chuckle at this...

Image Link Broken

-F_D

Post by **Mud Dog** » Sun Mar 08, 2015 10:55 am

I can just imagine the reactions of the cleaning staff!!

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Sun Mar 08, 2015 11:37 am

If it is done in SA, they would leave it for the next shift to sort out

Post by **Mud Dog** » Sun Mar 08, 2015 5:58 pm

Third world space program ....

phpBB [video]

View Original

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Sun Mar 08, 2015 8:33 pm

Very good.

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Sun Mar 08, 2015 9:34 pm

4 runner oldie · Post by **4 runner oldie** » Mon Mar 09, 2015 8:34 am

post-155756-0-62852700-1425873293_thumb.jpg: (46.29 KiB) Downloaded 687 times

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Mon Mar 09, 2015 8:26 pm

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Mon Mar 09, 2015 8:30 pm

gotalovethebush · Post by **gotalovethebush** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 6:45 pm

Post by **Mud Dog** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 9:15 pm

WHY MEN LIE

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above river,
his axe fell into the river.

When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water,
and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down in the water and reappeared with a golden axe.
"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe.
"Is this your axe?"the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe.
"Is this your axe?"the Lord asked.

"Yes", he replied.

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all
three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the
riverbank, and his wife fell into the river.

When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him,
"Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez.
"Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter fell to his knees and cried, "Oh, forgive me, Lord. It is
a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, You
would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also said 'no' to
her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would
have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care
of all three wives, and I love my wife such that I don't want her to share
me with anyone, so THAT'S why I said yes to Jennifer Lopez."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and
honourable reason, and for the benefit of others.. MOSTLY his wife!

That's our story, and we're sticking to it.....

THE GUYS.

Bushwacker · Post by **Bushwacker** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 7:02 am

'n Jong regstudent druip sy eksamen en besluit om met sy brijante Professor te gaan praat daaroor.

Student:"Prof verstaan u als omtrent hierdie vak?".

Prof:"Ek sou so dink, anders sou ek sekerlik nie n professor gewees het nie, sou ek?”

Student:" Aanvaarbaar Prof.Aangesien u so baie weet wil ek 'n ooreenkoms met u aangaan. Kan ek u 'n vraag vra en as u korrek antwoord, dan sal ek my punte aanvaar nes dit is, maar as u nie korrek kan antwoord nie, dan is dit u plig om my n "A" te gee".

Prof:"Hmmmmm goed.Wat is die vraag?”

Student: "Wat is wettig maar nie logies nie, logies maar nie wettig nie en ook nie logies of wettig nie?”

Die prof dink so al hy kan, maar kry nie n antwoord nie.Hy gee toe maar vir die student n "A" en die student is hoog in sy noppies toe hy daar uitstap.Die professor het die hele dag steeds gedink en gewroeg oor die vraag en besluit toe om n klompie van sy mees briljante studente bymekaar te kry en vir hulle die vraag te vra.Skaars het hy die vraag gevra of almal steek hul hande in die lug en die prof, met rooi wange van verleentheid, besluit om een van sy gunsteling studente geleentheid te gee om die vraag te beantwoord.

"Dis eintlik maklik Prof. u is 75 jaar oud en getroud met n 30 jarige vrou - Dis wettig maar nie logies nie".

"U vrou het 'n skelm affair met n 22 jarige student - Dis logies maar nie wettig nie".

U vrou se skelmpie het sy eksamen gedruip maar u het hom 'n "A" gegee daarvoor - Dit is nie logies of wettig nie.

Toppie4x4 · Post by **Toppie4x4** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 8:39 am

Ja nee wat jy saai sal jy maai

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 8:47 am

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 9:19 pm

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Thu Mar 12, 2015 7:40 am

Wait. What???

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Thu Mar 12, 2015 11:52 am

Thunder02 · Post by **Thunder02** » Thu Mar 12, 2015 5:15 pm

Post by **Mud Dog** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 7:16 pm

: leash.jpg (28.77 KiB) Viewed 10424 times

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 8:39 pm

Bushwacker · Post by **Bushwacker** » Wed Mar 18, 2015 4:40 pm

Die voordele om 'n 3.2 Auto Ranger te ry:

1. Elke 45,000km kry jy 'n nuwe engine
2. Jy gaan ten menste 'n nuwe ratkas kry, voordat hy onder waarborg uit is
3. Jy bou 'n baie goeie verhouding met jou handelaar se werkswinkel bestuurder op
4. Die petrol joggies en eienaar van die vulstasie waar jy gereeld vol maak begin jou baie goed ken.
5. Jy leer baie vriendelike mense ken, veral as jy dieselfde grootte sleepwa sleep as die ou met 'n 3.0 d4d sleep. So terwyl hulle verby jou kom op die opdraande waai hulle te vriendelik en glimlag te vraai.
6. Jy maak baie meer vriende, want almal wil graag meer weet oor jou ervaring met die Ranger. (Het al gewonder of hulle my nie net jammer kry nie)
7. Jy leer dat daar eintlik ander vervaardigers as Ford is en jy begin jou vlerke sprei.
8. Jou groot ego en windgatgeit word bietjie terug gebring na realiteit toe.
9. Jy leer dat daar wel etiese werktuigkundiges is wat vir jou se hulle kan nie 'n "upgrade" of chip doen nie, want jou voertuig gaan dalk breek en dan sal jou waarborg nie gedek word nie.
10. Jy leer om te luister na vervaardigers as hulle se jy moet nie "cattle rails" opsit wat nie deur ford goedgekeur is nie, want as jou bak kraak het hulle 'n rede om nie die probleem te addresseer nie.
11.Jy ry baie meer gereeld met jou ander voertuie en motorfiets terwyl jou voertuig reg gemaak word.
12.Jy leer wat top up oil kos.
13.Jy leer dat selfs die engineers wat die voertuie ontwerp nie altyd 'n fout kan isoleer nie.
14.Jy leer dat jy nie altyd moet staat maak op 'n fabriek se beloftes nie.

Mylux · Post by **Mylux** » Wed Mar 18, 2015 5:04 pm

ChrisF · Post by **ChrisF** » Wed Mar 18, 2015 9:29 pm

Bushwacker wrote:Die voordele om 'n 3.2 Auto Ranger te ry:

1. Elke 45,000km kry jy 'n nuwe engine
2. Jy gaan ten menste 'n nuwe ratkas kry, voordat hy onder waarborg uit is
3. Jy bou 'n baie goeie verhouding met jou handelaar se werkswinkel bestuurder op
4. Die petrol joggies en eienaar van die vulstasie waar jy gereeld vol maak begin jou baie goed ken.
5. Jy leer baie vriendelike mense ken, veral as jy dieselfde grootte sleepwa sleep as die ou met 'n 3.0 d4d sleep. So terwyl hulle verby jou kom op die opdraande waai hulle te vriendelik en glimlag te vraai.
6. Jy maak baie meer vriende, want almal wil graag meer weet oor jou ervaring met die Ranger. (Het al gewonder of hulle my nie net jammer kry nie)
7. Jy leer dat daar eintlik ander vervaardigers as Ford is en jy begin jou vlerke sprei.
8. Jou groot ego en windgatgeit word bietjie terug gebring na realiteit toe.
9. Jy leer dat daar wel etiese werktuigkundiges is wat vir jou se hulle kan nie 'n "upgrade" of chip doen nie, want jou voertuig gaan dalk breek en dan sal jou waarborg nie gedek word nie.
10. Jy leer om te luister na vervaardigers as hulle se jy moet nie "cattle rails" opsit wat nie deur ford goedgekeur is nie, want as jou bak kraak het hulle 'n rede om nie die probleem te addresseer nie.
11.Jy ry baie meer gereeld met jou ander voertuie en motorfiets terwyl jou voertuig reg gemaak word.
12.Jy leer wat top up oil kos.
13.Jy leer dat selfs die engineers wat die voertuie ontwerp nie altyd 'n fout kan isoleer nie.
14.Jy leer dat jy nie altyd moet staat maak op 'n fabriek se beloftes nie.

My kolega het n 3,2 Ranger Clubcab.

1 - nope
2 - nope
3 - nope ... hulle SALES STAFF reel jou diens, en sorg dat jy n courtesy voertuig kry, vir elke diens. Selfs die ST gekry as courtesy ... daai dag het ek saam gery ... moet sê daai ST MAG MAAR Helshoogte ry ....
4 - wel hy doen so 300 tot 500km PER DAG ....
5 - uhm ja ... dream on ....
6 - kom later terug na die punt.
7 - moet sê dat die Ford handelaar in Kaapstad my Barloworld Toyota Tygervallei handelaar 100% in die skande steek !!!!

kan so aangaan om vir punt te antwoord ...

Hy besluit toe dis tyd vir n double cab .... en koop die 3,2 double cab. Toe ek hom vra hoe dit vergelyk met die Hilux en Amarok antwoord hy : "Die Ranger WERK, waarom sal hy n kans vat met iets anders."

Nee wat, Hilux is steeds goed, MAAR daar IS nou n paar ander opsies ook !

Skuus dat ek nou so feitelik antwoord in die joke thread.

Obelix and Dogmatix · Post by **Obelix and Dogmatix** » Thu Mar 19, 2015 8:37 am

Bushwacker wrote:Die voordele om 'n 3.2 Auto Ranger te ry:

1. Elke 45,000km kry jy 'n nuwe engine
2. Jy gaan ten menste 'n nuwe ratkas kry, voordat hy onder waarborg uit is
3. Jy bou 'n baie goeie verhouding met jou handelaar se werkswinkel bestuurder op
4. Die petrol joggies en eienaar van die vulstasie waar jy gereeld vol maak begin jou baie goed ken.
5. Jy leer baie vriendelike mense ken, veral as jy dieselfde grootte sleepwa sleep as die ou met 'n 3.0 d4d sleep. So terwyl hulle verby jou kom op die opdraande waai hulle te vriendelik en glimlag te vraai.
6. Jy maak baie meer vriende, want almal wil graag meer weet oor jou ervaring met die Ranger. (Het al gewonder of hulle my nie net jammer kry nie)
7. Jy leer dat daar eintlik ander vervaardigers as Ford is en jy begin jou vlerke sprei.
8. Jou groot ego en windgatgeit word bietjie terug gebring na realiteit toe.
9. Jy leer dat daar wel etiese werktuigkundiges is wat vir jou se hulle kan nie 'n "upgrade" of chip doen nie, want jou voertuig gaan dalk breek en dan sal jou waarborg nie gedek word nie.
10. Jy leer om te luister na vervaardigers as hulle se jy moet nie "cattle rails" opsit wat nie deur ford goedgekeur is nie, want as jou bak kraak het hulle 'n rede om nie die probleem te addresseer nie.
11.Jy ry baie meer gereeld met jou ander voertuie en motorfiets terwyl jou voertuig reg gemaak word.
12.Jy leer wat top up oil kos.
13.Jy leer dat selfs die engineers wat die voertuie ontwerp nie altyd 'n fout kan isoleer nie.
14.Jy leer dat jy nie altyd moet staat maak op 'n fabriek se beloftes nie.

15. En as Jy 'n Hilux ry, ry jy ook baie meer met jou ander voortuie, want hulle steel die donder se goed soos soet koek, Kry hoopelik my nuwe een vandag of more

Thabogrobler · Post by **Thabogrobler** » Thu Mar 19, 2015 12:57 pm

Daai pregnant poppie is seker maar 'n slow-cooker!

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Thu Mar 19, 2015 10:56 pm

Frederick · Post by **Frederick** » Thu Mar 19, 2015 11:41 pm

Eish...

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Fri Mar 20, 2015 9:29 am

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Fri Mar 20, 2015 1:44 pm

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Fri Mar 20, 2015 11:45 pm

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Sat Mar 21, 2015 10:11 pm