Joke of the day

Share your jokes and funny campfire stories with us here.
Forum rules
Please keep it light hearted enol. No serious stufs hey! :)

BEFORE YOU START A NEW JOKES THREAD PLEASE TAKE NOTE:
We are trying to make the technical information more visible in the Active Topics section. So we are trying to combine all the humour posts into a single thread. This will then more or less always stay on the active topics page if you keep appending your jokes onto this single thread. Your assistance will be greatly appreciated
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Mud Dog
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Posts: 29020
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
Town: East London
Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
Real Name: Andy
Club VHF Licence: HC103

Sat Mar 04, 2017 10:23 am

Don’t think it can’t happen to you.

This is what all of you 70+ year old's have to look forward to:



This is something that happened in an Aged Care Centre. The people who lived there have small apartments but they all eat at a central Cafeteria.

One morning, one of the residents didn't show up for breakfast so my friend went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK. She could hear him through the door. He said that he was running late, and would be down shortly, so she went back to the Dining area.

An hour later, he still hadn't arrived; so she went back up towards his room and she found him on the stairs. He was coming down the stairs but was having a hell of time. He had a death grip on the hand rail and seemed to have trouble getting his legs to work right.

She told him she was going to call an ambulance but he told her no, he wasn't in any pain, and just wanted to have his breakfast. So she helped him the rest of the way down the stairs and he had his breakfast

When he tried to return to his room he was completely unable to get up even the first step so they called an ambulance for him.

A couple hours later she called the hospital to see how he was doing. The receptionist there said he was fine, he just had both of his legs in one leg of his boxer shorts.
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.

Image
Image

Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Hunter26
Low Range 4WD
Low Range 4WD
Posts: 138
Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2014 2:10 pm
Town: King Williams Town
Vehicle: Isuzu
Real Name: Craig

Sun Mar 05, 2017 2:47 pm

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Isuzu 250D 4x2 with diffy lock
1 x Humorous Driver
GPS,Dashcam,tyre levers
I don't live in Africa, Africa lives in me - Kyle my son.
Hunter26
Low Range 4WD
Low Range 4WD
Posts: 138
Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2014 2:10 pm
Town: King Williams Town
Vehicle: Isuzu
Real Name: Craig

Sun Mar 05, 2017 2:59 pm

An Englishman,Irishman and Scotsman were all playing golf with their wives. The wives were motioned to tee off first. The englishmans wife bent over to tee off and the wind blew her skirt up revealing a naked bum. The Englishman being disgusted asked his wife why she had no panties on ,to which she replied " you don't give me enough money to buy some", the Englishman puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out R50-00 and tells her to go buy some. Next is the Irish wife,same occurance and he pull out R25-00 and tells her to go buy panties. Lastly the Scotsman wife bends to tee off and the wind reveals her naked bum. The Scotsman highly upset ask " Lassy, wer is yer onder weer",to which the wife says " Jock,yer soch a taight ass with yer money,ya dinny give ma enough to buy eny panties", the Scotsman feeling embarrised,puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a comb and replies " herr lassy,tidy op yrself"
Isuzu 250D 4x2 with diffy lock
1 x Humorous Driver
GPS,Dashcam,tyre levers
I don't live in Africa, Africa lives in me - Kyle my son.
JamesC
LR 4WD Full Lockers
LR 4WD Full Lockers
Posts: 541
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 10:11 am
Town: Potchefstroom
Vehicle: SRX 2.5 4x4 D/C
Real Name: James
Location: Potchefstroom

Thu Apr 20, 2017 8:48 am

Husband:
My wife is missing.
She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!
Sheriff: Height?
Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
Sheriff: Weight?
Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.
Sheriff: Colour of eyes?
Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.
Sheriff: Colour of hair?
Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.
Sheriff: What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.
Sheriff: What kind of car did she go in?
Husband: She went in my Land Cruiser.
Sheriff: What kind of Land Cruiser was it?
Husband: A 2007 pearl white 100 Series GX with 4.5 litre EFI, 165Kw. It has a centre fridge console, front and rear diff locks, rear camera, aluminium FrontRunner roof rack, leather heated seats, climate controlled air conditioning. It has an extra 80 litre ProWorks stainless steel fuel tank, Weather Tech floor mats. Trailing package with removable tow-bar, sunroof, double-din DVD player with full navigation, satellite radio, VHF radio, six cup holders, two 5-amp USB ports, and 4 Hella power outlets. Fitted with 285/75/16 Mud Terrain BF Goodrich tires on 6 stud, 8J steel rims. 236 984 km's on the clock the day before yesterday.
At this point, the husband started choking up.
Sheriff: Take it easy sir, we'll find your Cruiser!
James Cameron
0834431879
User avatar
Mud Dog
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 29020
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
Town: East London
Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
Real Name: Andy
Club VHF Licence: HC103

Fri Apr 21, 2017 12:13 am

:laugh2:
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.

Image
Image

Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
User avatar
Mud Dog
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 29020
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
Town: East London
Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
Real Name: Andy
Club VHF Licence: HC103

Tue Jun 27, 2017 7:07 pm

Texting ......

From Father:

My Dear Son,
Today is a day you will treasure for all the days of your life.
My best love and good wishes.

Your Father.


From Son:

Thanks Dad. But the wedding isn’t actually until tomorrow!!


From Father:

I know...
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.

Image
Image

Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
User avatar
Froll
Monster Truck
Monster Truck
Posts: 3307
Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:13 pm
Town: Vioolsdrift
Vehicle: 2010 4.0 V6 Fortuner 4x4
Real Name: Roger
Club VHF Licence: N/A

Tue Jun 27, 2017 8:27 pm

:laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2:
User avatar
Baasvark
LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
Posts: 1275
Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2011 7:45 pm
Town: Virginia
Vehicle: '97 D/C with all the trimmings & 2011 Troopy
Real Name: Shane

Tue Jun 27, 2017 10:15 pm



Sent from my SM-N920C using Tapatalk

Aint it ironic that "Common Sense" aint so common after all...
User avatar
Mud Dog
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 29020
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
Town: East London
Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
Real Name: Andy
Club VHF Licence: HC103

Wed Aug 02, 2017 11:38 am

Picture.jpg
Picture.jpg (30.07 KiB) Viewed 4742 times
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.

Image
Image

Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
User avatar
Mud Dog
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 29020
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
Town: East London
Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
Real Name: Andy
Club VHF Licence: HC103

Fri Aug 04, 2017 12:27 am

What did our patents do to kill boredom before TV and the internet ? .........


I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.

Image
Image

Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
User avatar
Baasvark
LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
Posts: 1275
Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2011 7:45 pm
Town: Virginia
Vehicle: '97 D/C with all the trimmings & 2011 Troopy
Real Name: Shane

Fri Aug 04, 2017 12:29 am



Sent from my SM-N920C using Tapatalk

Aint it ironic that "Common Sense" aint so common after all...
User avatar
Mud Dog
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 29020
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
Town: East London
Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
Real Name: Andy
Club VHF Licence: HC103

Thu Sep 21, 2017 12:07 am

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When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.

Image
Image

Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
User avatar
Mud Dog
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 29020
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
Town: East London
Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
Real Name: Andy
Club VHF Licence: HC103

Wed Nov 08, 2017 11:47 pm

Italian Funeral



A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking in single file.

The Jewish man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said: "I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen an Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral, is it?"

"My wife's."

''What happened to her?"

"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

“My mother-in-law. She came to help my wife and the dog turned on her and killed her also."

It was a very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood. Silence passed between the two men.

The Jewish man then asked "Can I borrow the dog?"

The Italian man replied, "Get in line."
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.

Image
Image

Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
User avatar
Froll
Monster Truck
Monster Truck
Posts: 3307
Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:13 pm
Town: Vioolsdrift
Vehicle: 2010 4.0 V6 Fortuner 4x4
Real Name: Roger
Club VHF Licence: N/A

Thu Nov 09, 2017 8:56 pm

Hahahaha
User avatar
Mud Dog
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 29020
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
Town: East London
Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
Real Name: Andy
Club VHF Licence: HC103

Sat Nov 11, 2017 11:40 pm

ATT0003711.jpg
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.

Image
Image

Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
User avatar
Thunder02
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 8095
Joined: Fri Nov 26, 2010 7:53 pm
Town: East Rand
Vehicle: IFS Hilux
Real Name: Neil
Club VHF Licence: HC105
Location: 4x4 Direct Boksburg
Contact:

Sun Nov 12, 2017 3:46 pm

Land Rover























Come on, I know you guys are wetting your selves........ :laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2:
Not all those who wander are lost!

Scout motto:be prepared....
www.4x4direct.co.za
Email: boksburg@4x4direct.co.za
IFS is like a swambo, soft, sexy and expensive!
User avatar
dalkill
LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
Posts: 1470
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 8:34 am
Town: Cape TOwn
Vehicle: 2007 3.0 d4d DC 4x4
Real Name: Shaakir

Fri May 18, 2018 3:38 pm

I sometimes feel like this when I'm fishing .... :lmao:

https://www.facebook.com/nonkez/posts/10155704903672106
2007 d4d 3.0 D/C 4x4 (Mar 2016 - current) (Buraaq V)
2003 Isuzu KB300 tdi LX D/C 4x4 (May 2015 - Feb 2016) aka Buraaq IV
2000 hilux DC 2.7 4x4 (Jul 2011 - Sep 2012) aka Buraaq III
1999 RXI 20v (Nov 2009 - Jul 2011) aka Quicksilver
1990 hilux DC 2.2 4x4 (Jun 2008 - Jul 2011) aka Buraaq II
1997 corolla 160i GLE (Feb 2007 - Sep 2009) aka Green Goblin
1990 GLI twincam (still my fav rolla) (Oct 2005 - Mar 2007) aka Wit Blitz
Golf GTI 2.0 (temp insanity for 2months) (Jun 2005 - Aug 2005) aka A mistake
1993 hilux SC 2.2 4x4 (April 2003 - Sept 2005) aka Buraaq

TOYOTA IS MY LEWE
User avatar
Baasvark
LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
Posts: 1275
Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2011 7:45 pm
Town: Virginia
Vehicle: '97 D/C with all the trimmings & 2011 Troopy
Real Name: Shane

Fri May 18, 2018 10:04 pm

dalkill wrote:I sometimes feel like this when I'm fishing .... :lmao:

https://www.facebook.com/nonkez/posts/10155704903672106
ImageImageImage

Sent from my SM-A720F using Tapatalk

Aint it ironic that "Common Sense" aint so common after all...
User avatar
Mud Dog
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 29020
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
Town: East London
Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
Real Name: Andy
Club VHF Licence: HC103

Fri Nov 02, 2018 10:35 am

Time for a little humour again ....

A woman is in a jewellery store looking at a ring with a fairly large diamond. As she leans over to look at it more closely, a little fart slips out.

Hoping that no-one heard, she asks "How much is that one?"

The jeweller responds, "Madam, it you farted just looking at it, you're gonna shit yourself when I tell you the price!".
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.

Image
Image

Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
User avatar
Froll
Monster Truck
Monster Truck
Posts: 3307
Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:13 pm
Town: Vioolsdrift
Vehicle: 2010 4.0 V6 Fortuner 4x4
Real Name: Roger
Club VHF Licence: N/A

Fri Nov 02, 2018 3:31 pm

:laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2:
PaulSA
High Range 2WD
High Range 2WD
Posts: 19
Joined: Fri Jul 28, 2017 3:33 pm
Town: Pretoria
Vehicle: '92 KZTE 3000
Real Name: Paul

Wed Nov 07, 2018 10:06 am

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands.

The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"

All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"

Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember.

The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband - "I love you, Sweetheart"

Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with one another and read aloud the text message they received in response to their message.

Below are 11 hilarious replies. If you have been married for quite a while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love. Who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way?

1. Who the hell is this?

2. Eh, mother of our children, are you sick or what?

3. Yeah, and I love you too. What's wrong?

4. What now? Did you wreck the car again?

5. I don't understand what you mean.

6. What the hell did you do now?

7. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much money you need.

8. Am I dreaming?

9. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.

10. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.

11. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she?
User avatar
Mud Dog
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 29020
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
Town: East London
Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
Real Name: Andy
Club VHF Licence: HC103

Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:10 am

:laugh2: All legit answers!
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.

Image
Image

Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
User avatar
Mud Dog
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 29020
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
Town: East London
Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
Real Name: Andy
Club VHF Licence: HC103

Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:22 am

An elderly gent goes for a follow up visit to his doctor.

Dr - " I'm afraid it's bad news, Jim".

Jim - "What is it Doc"?

Dr - " Jim, you have to stop masturbating".

Jim - "Oh my goodness .... why"?

Dr - "Because I'm trying to talk to you here".
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.

Image
Image

Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Mars
LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
Posts: 1384
Joined: Mon May 07, 2012 12:33 pm
Town: Pretoria
Vehicle: Toyota Hilux Dakar 2.8 GD-6 DC 4X4
Real Name: Marnus
Location: Pretoria Oos
Contact:

Wed Nov 07, 2018 2:45 pm

Went to a Palm Reader yesterday. She looked at my long lifeline and said that for the next 40 years I am going to suffer terribly. So I asked "and then?" ...... Well then you will get used to it!
PaulSA
High Range 2WD
High Range 2WD
Posts: 19
Joined: Fri Jul 28, 2017 3:33 pm
Town: Pretoria
Vehicle: '92 KZTE 3000
Real Name: Paul

Thu Nov 08, 2018 10:52 am

Here's some REAL COMPUTER PROBLEMS COMPLAINTS HEARD BY VARIOUS COMPUTER TECHNICIANS. This is an excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "Send" key.

4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"

9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2 meant to remove Disk 1 first.

10. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded, No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine.
User avatar
Mud Dog
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 29020
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
Town: East London
Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
Real Name: Andy
Club VHF Licence: HC103

Thu Nov 08, 2018 12:51 pm

:D: ID 10 T errors.
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.

Image
Image

Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Mars
LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
Posts: 1384
Joined: Mon May 07, 2012 12:33 pm
Town: Pretoria
Vehicle: Toyota Hilux Dakar 2.8 GD-6 DC 4X4
Real Name: Marnus
Location: Pretoria Oos
Contact:

Thu Nov 08, 2018 3:23 pm

Mud Dog wrote:
Thu Nov 08, 2018 12:51 pm
:D: ID 10 T errors.
PEBKAC error

Problem Exists Between Keyboard and Chair.
dax021
Low Range 4WD
Low Range 4WD
Posts: 108
Joined: Sat Jan 24, 2009 2:25 pm
Town: Wittedrift
Vehicle: 1990 Hilux 4Y
Real Name: Peter

Tue Nov 13, 2018 9:54 am

Mud Dog wrote:
Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:22 am
An elderly gent goes for a follow up visit to his doctor.

Dr - " I'm afraid it's bad news, Jim".

Jim - "What is it Doc"?

Dr - " Jim, you have to stop masturbating".

Jim - "Oh my goodness .... why"?

Dr - "Because I'm trying to talk to you here".
Reminds me of these two blokes leaving the office at 5 pm.

Guy 1: I can't wait to get home and rip my wife's panties off!

Guy 2: Yeah, I know what you mean.

Guy 1: No, I mean they're really hurting
Mars
LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
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Tue Nov 13, 2018 2:28 pm

:laugh2:
dax021
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Sat Dec 22, 2018 8:38 pm

Becoming a vegan is a big "missed steak"

Did you know that dogs cannot operate an MRI, but catscan
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Family_Dog
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Sat Dec 22, 2018 10:08 pm

:cooldude: :cooldude:


-F_D
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