Customer feedback
Forum rules
Please keep it light hearted enol. No serious stufs hey! :)
We are trying to make the technical information more visible in the Active Topics section. So we are trying to combine all the humour posts into a single thread. This will then more or less always stay on the active topics page if you keep appending your jokes onto this single thread. Your assistance will be greatly appreciated
Please keep it light hearted enol. No serious stufs hey! :)
We are trying to make the technical information more visible in the Active Topics section. So we are trying to combine all the humour posts into a single thread. This will then more or less always stay on the active topics page if you keep appending your jokes onto this single thread. Your assistance will be greatly appreciated
-
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 5269
- Joined: Sun Aug 19, 2007 10:43 pm
- Town: Pretoria
- Vehicle: '02 'Lux KZ
- Real Name: Thabo
- Club VHF Licence: x223
- Location: Garsfontein
- Contact:
Customer feedback
Arnold Jeffrey
THIS IS AN ACTUAL CUSTOMER REVIEW FROM A MAN ON AMAZON.CO.UK AFTER USING VEET HAIR REMOVAL CREAM, SORRY IF ANY ONE TAKES OFFENCE BUT THOUGHT IT MIGHT MAKE YOU LOT LAUGH AS MUCH AS I JUST HAVE :)
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.
Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat. I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...
Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.
I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom.
Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned.
Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’t managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.
The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering “ooooohhh that feels good” Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’t heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.
I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status… so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect.............
THIS IS AN ACTUAL CUSTOMER REVIEW FROM A MAN ON AMAZON.CO.UK AFTER USING VEET HAIR REMOVAL CREAM, SORRY IF ANY ONE TAKES OFFENCE BUT THOUGHT IT MIGHT MAKE YOU LOT LAUGH AS MUCH AS I JUST HAVE :)
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.
Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat. I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...
Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.
I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom.
Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned.
Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’t managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.
The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering “ooooohhh that feels good” Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’t heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.
I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status… so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect.............
'02 KZ 'Lux. Cooled. Chipped. Onca'd. Cherished!
If you are a diesel fan, raise your hand.
If you aren't raising your hand, raise your standards!
A 4x4 is merely a machine that enables you to get stuck further away from civilization.
If you are a diesel fan, raise your hand.
If you aren't raising your hand, raise your standards!
A 4x4 is merely a machine that enables you to get stuck further away from civilization.
- Ali3n
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 4714
- Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2010 2:06 pm
- Town: Roodepoort
- Vehicle: Jeep Commander 3.0 Limited
- Real Name: Francisco the Great
- Club VHF Licence: B338
- Location: Roodepoort
Re: Customer feedback
PRESENTLY DISADVANTAGED
Custom built Rock Sliders, Bumpers, Belly protection.... Anything you can think of
Cell: 076 122 3744 E-Mail: fpanaino@gmail.com
Bear Grylls calls it "Ultimate Survival", overlanders call it "Camping"
Custom built Rock Sliders, Bumpers, Belly protection.... Anything you can think of
Cell: 076 122 3744 E-Mail: fpanaino@gmail.com
Bear Grylls calls it "Ultimate Survival", overlanders call it "Camping"
-
- LR 4WD Rear Locker
- Posts: 316
- Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:32 pm
- Town: Mokopane
- Vehicle: Hilux 2.7i 4x4 DC
- Real Name: Jaco
Re: Customer feedback
Ek sien die groot oomblik was 11pm, jy het 11:09pm gepost.
Het die pyn toe al genoeg bedaar?
Het die pyn toe al genoeg bedaar?
- Ali3n
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 4714
- Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2010 2:06 pm
- Town: Roodepoort
- Vehicle: Jeep Commander 3.0 Limited
- Real Name: Francisco the Great
- Club VHF Licence: B338
- Location: Roodepoort
Re: Customer feedback
Dit ni eers raak gesien ni. Maak nou mooi sin.Zandyl wrote:Ek sien die groot oomblik was 11pm, jy het 11:09pm gepost.
Het die pyn toe al genoeg bedaar?
PRESENTLY DISADVANTAGED
Custom built Rock Sliders, Bumpers, Belly protection.... Anything you can think of
Cell: 076 122 3744 E-Mail: fpanaino@gmail.com
Bear Grylls calls it "Ultimate Survival", overlanders call it "Camping"
Custom built Rock Sliders, Bumpers, Belly protection.... Anything you can think of
Cell: 076 122 3744 E-Mail: fpanaino@gmail.com
Bear Grylls calls it "Ultimate Survival", overlanders call it "Camping"
- ChrisF
- Top Web Wheeler
- Posts: 8188
- Joined: Thu Sep 17, 2009 2:56 pm
- Town: inniedorp
- Vehicle: Toy
- Real Name: Chris
Re: Customer feedback
gelukkig het die pyn nie te lank gehou nie .... :)
- jacques kotze
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 3616
- Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:51 am
- Town: Nelspruit
- Vehicle: 2,8 4x4 Auto Fortuner. 2,8 4x4 Hilux singlecab.
- Real Name: Jacques
- Contact:
- MOFASA
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 3095
- Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 7:27 pm
- Town: Kempton Park
- Vehicle: 1998 JEEP XJ 4.0............ 4 inch lift.... more mods to follow............ Old vehicle was MOFASA
- Real Name: Johno
- Club VHF Licence: X119
- Location: Kempton Park
Re: Customer feedback
Live Life in the FAST lane....
Forget the past, Embrace the FUTURE!!!!
To 4x4 or not to 4x4 thats the question....
IT'S A JEEP ..... You wouldn't understand....
[rimg=206x128]
Forget the past, Embrace the FUTURE!!!!
To 4x4 or not to 4x4 thats the question....
IT'S A JEEP ..... You wouldn't understand....
[rimg=206x128]
- Baasvark
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1376
- Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2011 7:45 pm
- Town: Virginia
- Vehicle: '97 D/C with all the trimmings & 2011 Troopy
- Real Name: Shane
Re: Customer feedback
Kan noggal moeilik wees om te verduidelik!
Aint it ironic that "Common Sense" aint so common after all...
- Donkey
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 5132
- Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:33 am
- Town: Johannesburg
- Vehicle: 2002 3.0KZ-TE 4x4, Eazyawn RTT, Snorkel, NudgeM Bumper, 38mm Ball Joint Spacers, 35" Maxxis Bighorns, Dastek Unichip, 60 ltr Snomaster fridge/freezer, 40mm body lift, Mikem front/rear with extended shackles, Bilsteins shox rear
- Real Name: Tumelo Thebe aka Baas John
- Club VHF Licence: X122
Re: Customer feedback
crazy
Tumelo Maketekete
Donkey, simple and often misunderstood.
We don't stop playing because we grow old, but we grow old because we stop playing!
2002 - 3.0KZ-TE Toyota Hilux (Letebele)
1994 - 1.6i Gl Toyota Corolla (Platkar)
1990 - Gli TwinCam 16v (ZuluBoy)
Donkey, simple and often misunderstood.
We don't stop playing because we grow old, but we grow old because we stop playing!
2002 - 3.0KZ-TE Toyota Hilux (Letebele)
1994 - 1.6i Gl Toyota Corolla (Platkar)
1990 - Gli TwinCam 16v (ZuluBoy)