Joke of the day
Forum rules
Please keep it light hearted enol. No serious stufs hey! :)
We are trying to make the technical information more visible in the Active Topics section. So we are trying to combine all the humour posts into a single thread. This will then more or less always stay on the active topics page if you keep appending your jokes onto this single thread. Your assistance will be greatly appreciated
Please keep it light hearted enol. No serious stufs hey! :)
We are trying to make the technical information more visible in the Active Topics section. So we are trying to combine all the humour posts into a single thread. This will then more or less always stay on the active topics page if you keep appending your jokes onto this single thread. Your assistance will be greatly appreciated
- Froll
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Re: Joke of the day
....
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- Mud Dog
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Re: Joke of the day
HIERDIE JAN IS EGTER NIET VAN NEDERLAND, MAAR WEL VAN ONZE EIE ZULULAND!
HY HEET: JAN JACOB VAN NKANDLA
DE MENZE SE: “HIERDIE JAN HET NIET GEKOM MET DE DROMMEDARIS, DE REIJGER OF DE GOEDEHOOP,
MAAR WEL MET DE DROMME VOL WYWENS, DE MOERSE HUIZENS EN ONZEKERE HOOP…
HY HEET: JAN JACOB VAN NKANDLA
DE MENZE SE: “HIERDIE JAN HET NIET GEKOM MET DE DROMMEDARIS, DE REIJGER OF DE GOEDEHOOP,
MAAR WEL MET DE DROMME VOL WYWENS, DE MOERSE HUIZENS EN ONZEKERE HOOP…
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Hoppy
- Monster Truck
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- Vehicle: Hilux SFA & IFS
- Real Name: Allan 0721291160
Re: Joke of the day
aev@iburst.co.za
The trouble with trouble is...it always starts as fun.
The most precious jewels you will ever wear around your neck is the arms of your children...
" I WOULD RATHER SIT ON THE TAILGATE OF MY HILUX WITH A BEER AND A CHOP, WATCHING A FIRE, THAN DINE IN THE BEST RESTAURANT IN TOWN "
- Toppie4x4
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Re: Joke of the day
Guilty............
-
- LR 4WD Full Lockers
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Re: Joke of the day
Shoe, ja dit was moelik, ek het die eerste een verkeerd gehad "boots"!
- Obelix and Dogmatix
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Re: Joke of the day
+1Toppie4x4 wrote:Guilty............
Rules are there to make you think before you break them!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
- Hoppy
- Monster Truck
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- Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:15 pm
- Town: Cape Town
- Vehicle: Hilux SFA & IFS
- Real Name: Allan 0721291160
Re: Joke of the day
Guilty, caught me.
aev@iburst.co.za
The trouble with trouble is...it always starts as fun.
The most precious jewels you will ever wear around your neck is the arms of your children...
" I WOULD RATHER SIT ON THE TAILGATE OF MY HILUX WITH A BEER AND A CHOP, WATCHING A FIRE, THAN DINE IN THE BEST RESTAURANT IN TOWN "
- Family_Dog
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Re: Joke of the day
I believe Mud Dog was the only one amongst us who got all answers correct.
Well done Andy!
-F_D
Well done Andy!
-F_D
White Fang: 1999 2.7i DC Raider 4x4
Bull Dog: 1987 4Y-EFI 2.2 DC 4x4
Pra Dog: 1998 Prado VX 3.4
Hound Dog: 2000 2.7i SC 4x4
One Staffie, One Jack Russell, One Ring Neck Screecher, 17 Fish of questionable heritage
- ChrisF
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Re: Joke of the day
draai nie my rug op n man wat daai reg kry nie !
- Mud Dog
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- Real Name: Andy
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Re: Joke of the day
Hehehe ...... we've had this one before, so I knew I had to think of the less 'obvious' answers .... took me a lot longer than I expected!Family_Dog wrote:I believe Mud Dog was the only one amongst us who got all answers correct.
Well done Andy!
-F_D
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- tuff tralies
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Re: Joke of the day
Hahahahaha wonder wat n klieent sal se as ek sy bakkie so boor
- Tonto
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Re: Joke of the day
Die gatboordery is verseker nie `n grap nie!!! Dit maak enige verantwoordelike vuurwapeneienaar die m....r in en behoort hier afgehaal te word.
Iemand gaan verseker seerkry wat dit onder ander omstandighede probeer. ek het jare gelede gesien hoe lyk `n man se bene wat dit met sy 30-06 gedoen het. die skrapnel het hom lelik seergemaak en hy was gelukkig om met sy lewe daarvan af te kom.
Iemand gaan verseker seerkry wat dit onder ander omstandighede probeer. ek het jare gelede gesien hoe lyk `n man se bene wat dit met sy 30-06 gedoen het. die skrapnel het hom lelik seergemaak en hy was gelukkig om met sy lewe daarvan af te kom.
- Toppie4x4
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Re: Joke of the day
Stem saam
- Hoppy
- Monster Truck
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Re: Joke of the day
WHO IS JACK SCHITT??????
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'
Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
NOTE: PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS A LAUGH.
REMEMBER: IF YOU DON'T THEN YOU MIGHT POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO FULLA SCHITT
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'
Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
NOTE: PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS A LAUGH.
REMEMBER: IF YOU DON'T THEN YOU MIGHT POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO FULLA SCHITT
aev@iburst.co.za
The trouble with trouble is...it always starts as fun.
The most precious jewels you will ever wear around your neck is the arms of your children...
" I WOULD RATHER SIT ON THE TAILGATE OF MY HILUX WITH A BEER AND A CHOP, WATCHING A FIRE, THAN DINE IN THE BEST RESTAURANT IN TOWN "
- Obelix and Dogmatix
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1837
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:27 pm
- Town: ROODEPOORT
- Vehicle: HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix, donated to some clown, HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix II Onca front and rear Amade extreme Suspension and under water breathing apparatus
- Real Name: Quentin
- Location: Allens Nek
Re: Joke of the day
Jan Plaasboer trek by die robot in langs 'n stunning chick.
Hy glimlag vir haar en draai sy venster af.
Sy glimlag terug en draai ook haar venster af.
Jan glimlag weer mooi en sê: "Het jy ook in jou kar gepoep?"
Hy glimlag vir haar en draai sy venster af.
Sy glimlag terug en draai ook haar venster af.
Jan glimlag weer mooi en sê: "Het jy ook in jou kar gepoep?"
Rules are there to make you think before you break them!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
-
- Low Range 4WD
- Posts: 157
- Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2012 10:49 am
- Town: wellington
- Vehicle: 81 hilux 350,80 vx landcruiser,650 bombardier.
- Real Name: martin
- Location: wellington,western cape,rsa
Re: Joke of the day
:wth: daai gatboorders gaan een of ander tyd hul gatte sien!
stokken fupid! :wth:
stokken fupid! :wth:
hilux sfa -the only real 4x4!
- Mud Dog
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- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
Ja, it's stupid, but that's why it's in the humour section.vanthev8man wrote::wth: daai gatboorders gaan een of ander tyd hul gatte sien!
stokken fupid! :wth:
If I were to comment a bit more seriously about it, I would say that personal injury to the shooter would be a secondary concern in my book - his stupidity would be rewarded. It's the bystanders or even someone innocently minding their own business somewhere 'downrange'. As crazy as what it is, they could have made it a lot safer with sandbags behind and either side (front) of the "hole" to arrest projectiles.
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- tuff tralies
- Low Range 4WD
- Posts: 146
- Joined: Mon Oct 14, 2013 10:51 am
- Town: Heidelberg
- Vehicle: hilux
- Real Name: christoffel
Re: Joke of the day
Eksdom
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- 4x4BEES
- Monster Truck
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Re: Joke of the day
Daai foto is nie reg nie
Daar is geen steroids in daai prentjie nie
Daar is geen steroids in daai prentjie nie
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
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- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
GOD to ST. FRANCIS:
Frank, .... You know all about gardens and nature. What in
the world is going on down there on the planet?What
happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff
I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden
plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand
drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the
long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and
flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of
colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.
St. FRANCIS:
It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.
They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to
great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
GOD:
Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't
attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod
worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these
Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
ST. FRANCIS:
Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it
and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing
grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
GOD:
The spring rains and warm weather probably make
grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.
ST. FRANCIS:
Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they
cut it-sometimes twice a week.
GOD:
They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?
ST. FRANCIS:
Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
GOD:
They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
ST. FRANCIS:
No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
GOD:
Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so
it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off
and pay to throw it away?
ST. FRANCIS:
Yes, Lord.
GOD:
These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer
when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat.
That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
ST. FRANCIS:
You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass
stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay
more money to water it, so they can continue to mow
it and pay to get rid of it.
GOD:
What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees.
That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself.
The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty
and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to
the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture
in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a
natural cycle of life.
ST. FRANCIS:
You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have
drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they
rake them into great piles and pay to have them
hauled away.
GOD:
No!? What do they do to protect the shrub and
tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?
ST. FRANCIS:
After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy
something which they call mulch. They haul it home
and spread it around in place of the leaves.
GOD:
And where do they get this mulch?
ST. FRANCIS:
They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
GOD:
Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore.
St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie
have you scheduled for us tonight?
ST. CATHERINE:
'Dumb and Dumber', Lord. It's a story about....
GOD:
Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story
from St. Francis.
Frank, .... You know all about gardens and nature. What in
the world is going on down there on the planet?What
happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff
I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden
plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand
drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the
long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and
flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of
colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.
St. FRANCIS:
It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.
They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to
great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
GOD:
Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't
attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod
worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these
Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
ST. FRANCIS:
Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it
and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing
grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
GOD:
The spring rains and warm weather probably make
grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.
ST. FRANCIS:
Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they
cut it-sometimes twice a week.
GOD:
They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?
ST. FRANCIS:
Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
GOD:
They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
ST. FRANCIS:
No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
GOD:
Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so
it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off
and pay to throw it away?
ST. FRANCIS:
Yes, Lord.
GOD:
These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer
when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat.
That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
ST. FRANCIS:
You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass
stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay
more money to water it, so they can continue to mow
it and pay to get rid of it.
GOD:
What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees.
That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself.
The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty
and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to
the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture
in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a
natural cycle of life.
ST. FRANCIS:
You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have
drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they
rake them into great piles and pay to have them
hauled away.
GOD:
No!? What do they do to protect the shrub and
tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?
ST. FRANCIS:
After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy
something which they call mulch. They haul it home
and spread it around in place of the leaves.
GOD:
And where do they get this mulch?
ST. FRANCIS:
They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
GOD:
Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore.
St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie
have you scheduled for us tonight?
ST. CATHERINE:
'Dumb and Dumber', Lord. It's a story about....
GOD:
Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story
from St. Francis.
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Cleaner
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1619
- Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2012 11:37 am
- Town: Johannesburg
- Vehicle: Toyota Hilux 4l V6 4x4 Auto
- Real Name: Ernst
- Club VHF Licence: X31
- Location: NorthGate
Re: Joke of the day
Ek soek ook so een!!!Mud Dog wrote:
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
An Irish couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. When she asked if
she could have a bath the lady of the house told her they didn't have a
bath, although if she wanted to she could use a tin wash tub in front of the
fire.
"Monday's the best night because my husband goes out to darts," she said.
The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday.
After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled
the bath and watched the girl get undressed. She was surprised to see that
the lass didn't have any pubic hair. She mentioned this to her husband when
he came home.
He didn't believe her, so she said: "Next Monday, when you go to darts,
leave a little early and wait in the back garden. I'll leave a gap in the
curtains so you can see for yourself."
So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked:
"Do you shave?"
"No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any pubic hair. I take it you
have?"
"Oh, yes," said the woman, and she pulled up her night dress and showed the
girl that she possessed a generously endowed pelt.....very generous indeed.
The girl finished her bath and went to bed.
Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him, "Did you see
it?"
"Yes," he said, "but why the hell did you have to show her yours?"
"Why ever are you worried about that?" she said. "You've seen it often
enough before."
"I know," he said, "but the dart team hadn't."
she could have a bath the lady of the house told her they didn't have a
bath, although if she wanted to she could use a tin wash tub in front of the
fire.
"Monday's the best night because my husband goes out to darts," she said.
The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday.
After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled
the bath and watched the girl get undressed. She was surprised to see that
the lass didn't have any pubic hair. She mentioned this to her husband when
he came home.
He didn't believe her, so she said: "Next Monday, when you go to darts,
leave a little early and wait in the back garden. I'll leave a gap in the
curtains so you can see for yourself."
So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked:
"Do you shave?"
"No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any pubic hair. I take it you
have?"
"Oh, yes," said the woman, and she pulled up her night dress and showed the
girl that she possessed a generously endowed pelt.....very generous indeed.
The girl finished her bath and went to bed.
Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him, "Did you see
it?"
"Yes," he said, "but why the hell did you have to show her yours?"
"Why ever are you worried about that?" she said. "You've seen it often
enough before."
"I know," he said, "but the dart team hadn't."
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- 4x4BEES
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 3447
- Joined: Wed Nov 20, 2013 10:13 am
- Town: Brackenfell
- Vehicle: Hilux 4.0V6
- Real Name: Kevin
Re: Joke of the day
That's just brilliant
- Masekind
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1235
- Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2013 11:41 am
- Town: Lichtenburg
- Vehicle: 2005 Hilux 4x4 v6, LR tank, ARB Bumper. (iJzer)
- Real Name: Drikus
- Location: Lichtenburg
Re: Joke of the day
Mooi man toe kyk hulle fliek ini bos
If you don’t build your dreams someone else will hire you to build there’s
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
You are on a Horse, galloping at a constant speed.
On your right side is a sharp drop off.
And on your left side is an Elephant traveling at the same speed as you.
Directly in front of you is a galloping Kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it.
Behind you is a Lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo.
What must you do to get out of this highly dangerous situation safely?
Answer :
Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round.
On your right side is a sharp drop off.
And on your left side is an Elephant traveling at the same speed as you.
Directly in front of you is a galloping Kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it.
Behind you is a Lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo.
What must you do to get out of this highly dangerous situation safely?
Answer :
Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round.
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
A man received the following text from his neighbour:
“I am so sorry Frank. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been helping myself to your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I do not get it at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't ever happen again.”
The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.
A few moments later, a second text came in:
“Bloody auto spell! I meant "wifi, not "wife" . . .”
“I am so sorry Frank. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been helping myself to your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I do not get it at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't ever happen again.”
The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.
A few moments later, a second text came in:
“Bloody auto spell! I meant "wifi, not "wife" . . .”
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- 4x4BEES
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 3447
- Joined: Wed Nov 20, 2013 10:13 am
- Town: Brackenfell
- Vehicle: Hilux 4.0V6
- Real Name: Kevin
Re: Joke of the day
Bloody auto-correct
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
So the other day I decided to take my nephews to the zoo.
The place was really run-down and the only animal there was a dog.
It was a Shih Tzu.
The place was really run-down and the only animal there was a dog.
It was a Shih Tzu.
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
Donald and Daisy went out for a night on the town and later he got her back to the motel room. He was ready to go and she said, DONALD, you are not touching me with that without a condom. He asked where am I going to get one this time of night. Go down and ask the clerk if they have some in stock.
He went down and asked, do you have any condoms, the clerk said yes, we do. Donald says I need a packet, not problem replied the clerk, do you want me tp put these on your bill. Donald stepped back and said, THIT NO, I WILL THUFFOCATE!!!
He went down and asked, do you have any condoms, the clerk said yes, we do. Donald says I need a packet, not problem replied the clerk, do you want me tp put these on your bill. Donald stepped back and said, THIT NO, I WILL THUFFOCATE!!!
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- grobbepj
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1049
- Joined: Tue May 14, 2013 10:39 am
- Town: Alberton
- Vehicle: Hilux legend 35 4x4 3.0kzte D/C
- Real Name: Pieter
Re: Joke of the day
Goed om eerlike mense daar buite te sien...
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Donkey
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 5132
- Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:33 am
- Town: Johannesburg
- Vehicle: 2002 3.0KZ-TE 4x4, Eazyawn RTT, Snorkel, NudgeM Bumper, 38mm Ball Joint Spacers, 35" Maxxis Bighorns, Dastek Unichip, 60 ltr Snomaster fridge/freezer, 40mm body lift, Mikem front/rear with extended shackles, Bilsteins shox rear
- Real Name: Tumelo Thebe aka Baas John
- Club VHF Licence: X122
Re: Joke of the day
Tumelo Maketekete
Donkey, simple and often misunderstood.
We don't stop playing because we grow old, but we grow old because we stop playing!
2002 - 3.0KZ-TE Toyota Hilux (Letebele)
1994 - 1.6i Gl Toyota Corolla (Platkar)
1990 - Gli TwinCam 16v (ZuluBoy)
Donkey, simple and often misunderstood.
We don't stop playing because we grow old, but we grow old because we stop playing!
2002 - 3.0KZ-TE Toyota Hilux (Letebele)
1994 - 1.6i Gl Toyota Corolla (Platkar)
1990 - Gli TwinCam 16v (ZuluBoy)
- Froll
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 3305
- Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:13 pm
- Town: Vioolsdrift
- Vehicle: 2010 4.0 V6 Fortuner 4x4
- Real Name: Roger
- Club VHF Licence: N/A
Re: Joke of the day
....
- Attachments
-
- 10959820_934128249940263_3086168385801786236_n.jpg (23.72 KiB) Viewed 10790 times
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- 10858536_10153122923307959_1045898599309282218_n.jpg (17.99 KiB) Viewed 10790 times
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
Would have been the perfect Valentine's gift for Swambo!
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
In and out . . . . in and out . . . .
A little to the right . . . . a little to the left . . . .
She could feel the sweat on her forehead . . . .
Between her br*asts . . . . and, trickling down the small of her back .
. . .
She was getting near to the end . . . . !!
He was in ecst@sy . . . . with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved . . . . Forwards then backwards . . . .
Forward then backward . . . .
Again . . . . and, again . . . . !!
Her heart was pounding now . . . .
Her face was flushed . . . .
She moaned . . . . softly at first, then began to groan louder . . . ..
Finally . . . . totally exhausted . . . . she let out a piercing scream . . . .
She shouted . . . . :
"OK, OK, you smug b@stard, I can't parallel park . . . .You do it . . . . !!"
A little to the right . . . . a little to the left . . . .
She could feel the sweat on her forehead . . . .
Between her br*asts . . . . and, trickling down the small of her back .
. . .
She was getting near to the end . . . . !!
He was in ecst@sy . . . . with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved . . . . Forwards then backwards . . . .
Forward then backward . . . .
Again . . . . and, again . . . . !!
Her heart was pounding now . . . .
Her face was flushed . . . .
She moaned . . . . softly at first, then began to groan louder . . . ..
Finally . . . . totally exhausted . . . . she let out a piercing scream . . . .
She shouted . . . . :
"OK, OK, you smug b@stard, I can't parallel park . . . .You do it . . . . !!"
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Obelix and Dogmatix
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1837
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:27 pm
- Town: ROODEPOORT
- Vehicle: HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix, donated to some clown, HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix II Onca front and rear Amade extreme Suspension and under water breathing apparatus
- Real Name: Quentin
- Location: Allens Nek
Re: Joke of the day
i like +20Mud Dog wrote:In and out . . . . in and out . . . .
A little to the right . . . . a little to the left . . . .
She could feel the sweat on her forehead . . . .
Between her br*asts . . . . and, trickling down the small of her back .
. . .
She was getting near to the end . . . . !!
He was in ecst@sy . . . . with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved . . . . Forwards then backwards . . . .
Forward then backward . . . .
Again . . . . and, again . . . . !!
Her heart was pounding now . . . .
Her face was flushed . . . .
She moaned . . . . softly at first, then began to groan louder . . . ..
Finally . . . . totally exhausted . . . . she let out a piercing scream . . . .
She shouted . . . . :
"OK, OK, you smug b@stard, I can't parallel park . . . .You do it . . . . !!"
Rules are there to make you think before you break them!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
-
- High Range 2WD
- Posts: 13
- Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2015 12:18 pm
- Town: Secunda
- Vehicle: Hilux
- Real Name: Riaan
Re: Joke of the day
The difference between delight and despair - delight is when your son is a hooker for the Springbok team; despair is when your daughter is a hooker for the Springbok team...
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!