How do you break the news

Hunter26 · Post by **Hunter26** » Mon Dec 08, 2014 9:07 pm

Need some advice here. (1) My wife moaned her old car was giving up the ghost (2) she wants the inside of the house painted (3) I want a 4x4.

A good deal came up and I sold her old car ( R8k) and bought a 2nd hand. 2005 spotless Chev Optra ( R45k) having 85000km ( belong to old couple). Now I just have to pay the bank back,fair. I have hinted that I want to buy a 4x4 to do overland trips and as a daily runner.

Now here is where I get confused, I am convinced my wife has ball bearings for eyes because they roll constantly each time I mention 4x4,the Forum,overland . Does this mean she supports me or do I have to paint the house and wqait another 4 years for a 4x4. Please help

D

Craig

Post by **Baasvark** » Mon Dec 08, 2014 9:10 pm

Who wears the pants ?

The best is to tell her what you want to do and why. Explain to her in detail, show her some of the trip reports.

She might be more interested than you think.....

On the other hand she hasn't formally verbally opposed the idea.... You could always "surprise" her with your new purchase and claim that you thought she supported the idea....

Good luck.

ThysdJ · Post by **ThysdJ** » Mon Dec 08, 2014 9:13 pm

Soft soaping doesnt work. Thats when they eyes go into orbit. Either fo out and buy it if you can afford it and then face the music after the fact or wait 4 years and do it later.

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Mon Dec 08, 2014 9:15 pm

This lovely

forum will take your time away from her anyway

She might as well also look at whats going on here. As BAASVARK said, show her some trip
reports as well as a couple of the get to gethers

That way she will be informed when she rolls her eyes

Stuart Baak · Post by **Stuart Baak** » Mon Dec 08, 2014 9:22 pm

I rate the easiest way, is to take her to a hilux gathering in her car. And when she sees the capability, versitility and awesomeness of a bigger vehicle. Safety also can come out.

What I did, was 1,whenever I saw a kitted cruiser (the dream) and a kitted hilux, I would point it out! Each and every time without fail, mid conversation or not. Plant the seed and either it grows, or she will get so fed up hearing about it she will wish you just got one already... My gf loves my bakkie! She now mentions it every single time we go away. More packing space for everything. She even gave the go-ahead for a camping fridge! (ice is a nuisance)

Jacques T · Post by **Jacques T** » Mon Dec 08, 2014 9:24 pm

Good advice:
When you tell her you want to buy a 4x4, you'll have a fight.
When you buy the 4x4, you'll have another fight.
Conclusion, Don't tell her, just buy it. It'll save you one fight.

Oosie101 · Post by **Oosie101** » Mon Dec 08, 2014 9:35 pm

It is sometimes easier to ask forgiveness than permission...

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

ChrisF · Post by **ChrisF** » Mon Dec 08, 2014 9:47 pm

so you HAD money and then went and bought her a car .... surely you NEEDED a 4x4 more ....

Post by **Family_Dog** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 7:06 am

Craig, just buy it. And when she notices something amiss, point out the wonders of the modern-day car-polishes - makes an old bakkie suddenly take upon a brand new appearance! Isn't science just wonderful!!

Show her the old Sasol advert where a lonely VW beetle suddenly turns into a stunning Porsche after filling up with Sasol. Ain't science just marvellous!!

-F_D

Masekind · Post by **Masekind** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 7:32 am

It is much easier to apologise than begging for something so just get a 4x4

Post by **george** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 9:02 am

Stuart Baak wrote:I rate the easiest way, is to take her to a hilux gathering in her car. And when she sees the capability, versitility and awesomeness of a bigger vehicle. Safety also can come out.

What I did, was 1,whenever I saw a kitted cruiser (the dream) and a kitted hilux, I would point it out! Each and every time without fail, mid conversation or not. Plant the seed and either it grows, or she will get so fed up hearing about it she will wish you just got one already... My gf loves my bakkie! She now mentions it every single time we go away. More packing space for everything. She even gave the go-ahead for a camping fridge! (ice is a nuisance)

Good advice.WHen I sold the 2.7 I said I will not buy another one for a while.After a couple of months of moping she was quite happy for me to get another.Think she was glad to get me out of the house

GI Jane · Post by **GI Jane** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 9:25 am

Obelix and Dogmatix · Post by **Obelix and Dogmatix** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 9:50 am

Oosie101 wrote:It is sometimes easier to ask forgiveness than permission...

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

HEY DIS MY SE DING DAAI !!

so +1

Obelix and Dogmatix · Post by **Obelix and Dogmatix** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 9:53 am

Craig, just take her on an outing with her chev Optra, and when you get stuck in that axle twister or mud hole then she will understand why you need a 4x4.

And once you have done that and failed and she di-worses you, I know a good di-wors lawyer

:evil: :evil: :evil:

Thabogrobler · Post by **Thabogrobler** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 12:27 pm

She got a new car, now it is your turn. Buy 20L of paint and diy the house - although I know is tradesmen is so fed up fixing clients houses that our own often gets neglected.

Post by **pietpetoors** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 2:43 pm

It is easy, you had to buy the 4x4 because all the paint for the house would not fit in the Chev.
Or, just in case the paint fall over you did not want to mess up the Chev, that is why you rather bought the 4x4.

They don't stay angry long. You can always paint the inside of the house later.

If you have the 4x4 you are happy and a happy man paint much faster than an unhappy man.

HennieO · Post by **HennieO** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 3:04 pm

Nobody "wants" a 4 x 4.

YOU FRIGGING NEED A 4 X 4.

Obelix and Dogmatix · Post by **Obelix and Dogmatix** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 3:11 pm

pietpetoors wrote:It is easy, you had to buy the 4x4 because all the paint for the house would not fit in the Chev.
Or, just in case the paint fall over you did not want to mess up the Chev, that is why you rather bought the 4x4.

They don't stay angry long. You can always paint the inside of the house later.

If you have the 4x4 you are happy and a happy man paint much faster than an unhappy man.

AND WE ARE ALL EXPERTS AT BS-ING OURSELVES!!!!!

Gaan koop nou net daai ding man en kry klaar

Post by **pietpetoors** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 3:56 pm

I gave this a lot of thought.

Just go buy it, as long as it is a Hilux she will not complain, she will be happy for you.

BenRich · Post by **BenRich** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 4:25 pm

I am convinced my wife has ball bearings for eyes because they roll constantly each time I mention 4x4

Best line ever!!!

Rusti · Post by **Rusti** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 5:18 pm

You should buy the 4x4 and use it to take her to a remote lodge for a romantic second honeymoon... She cant hate it then..

Obelix and Dogmatix · Post by **Obelix and Dogmatix** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 5:39 pm

Rusti wrote:You should buy the 4x4 and use it to take her to a remote lodge for a romantic second honeymoon... She cant hate it then..

Rusti, tried that one yourself did you?

Hunter26 · Post by **Hunter26** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 5:43 pm

Rusti wrote:You should buy the 4x4 and use it to take her to a remote lodge for a romantic second honeymoon... She cant hate it then..

Rusti I am a bit scared to do that reason being :

1) I proposed to my wife at Wood and Lodge restaurant in Bisho.......the place burnt down due to kitchen fire.

2) We honeymooned at Kei Beach Hotel near East London.....the place went bank rupt and closed.

3) Second part of honeymoon we stayed at Zanado self catering rooms and ate supper at Crawfords Cabins near EL........the place burnt down a few years later.

Now you are saying I should go on a second honeymoon to a lodge

D:D

Craig

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 6:23 pm

Hunter26 wrote:
Rusti wrote:You should buy the 4x4 and use it to take her to a remote lodge for a romantic second honeymoon... She cant hate it then..
Rusti I am a bit scared to do that reason being :

1) I proposed to my wife at Wood and Lodge restaurant in Bisho.......the place burnt down due to kitchen fire.

2) We honeymooned at Kei Beach Hotel near East London.....the place went bank rupt and closed.

3) Second part of honeymoon we stayed at Zanado self catering rooms and ate supper at Crawfords Cabins near EL........the place burnt down a few years later.

Now you are saying I should go on a second honeymoon to a lodge D:D

Craig

As long as you don't take the 4x4 it won't be your loss

Rusti · Post by **Rusti** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 10:07 pm

Maybe you should buy a fire truck instead..

I didn't have to do that.. Im a real man.. I begged for 3 years and she eventually got tired of it and gave me permission...

My girlfriend just said you must show your wife how much shopping she can get in the bakkie..

But seriously for a second and I think this is what most of the guys are trying to say. And that is you need to find a way of getting your wife to enjoy the 4x4 as much as you will or at least close to as much as you will. If she doesnt like the idea of camping in the bush with a portable shower etc then think along the line of lodges and upmarket bnbs and that doesnt have to be crazy expensive either.. Think of what she wants out of a holiday and work a 4x4 into it somehow.. Even national parks have amazing 5 star type challetes for very good prices. Some of the guys recommended Tankwa NP to me and some of the challette accomodation with private pool is top class and extremely well priced so other parks should have similar facilities. Then both of you go on game drives etc and your wife gets comfortable holidays.. Its a win win..

Post by **Haboob** » Wed Dec 10, 2014 6:41 am

Rusti I am a bit scared to do that reason being :

1) I proposed to my wife at Wood and Lodge restaurant in Bisho.......the place burnt down due to kitchen fire.

2) We honeymooned at Kei Beach Hotel near East London.....the place went bank rupt and closed.

3) Second part of honeymoon we stayed at Zanado self catering rooms and ate supper at Crawfords Cabins near EL........the place burnt down a few years later.

Now you are saying I should go on a second honeymoon to a lodge D:D

Craig

You appear to be a fire HAZZARD...

Thabogrobler · Post by **Thabogrobler** » Wed Dec 10, 2014 8:56 am

O ja Craig,

I regret to inform you that unfortunately you are NOT welcome at my lodge!

Regards

Lodge Management.

Donkey · Post by **Donkey** » Wed Dec 10, 2014 1:20 pm

Personally, if the basics are covered I can and am buying me toys. You guys already have a home, maybe kids, good health, etc. Your wife is supposed to make you happier not sadder, buying a 4x4 is within reasonable reason. More so when you afford one. Sometimes I take unpopular decisions, and mostly her pride doesn't allow her to thank me, cos a lot of those times, I try and make them unselfish decisions. Buy yourself a Lux. You live once.

Other option is get another wife who appreciates your efforts and hard work.

Thabogrobler · Post by **Thabogrobler** » Wed Dec 10, 2014 10:41 pm

Donkey wrote: Other option is get another wife who appreciates your efforts and hard work.

That usually tend to be the more expensive option!

Hunter26 · Post by **Hunter26** » Thu Dec 11, 2014 2:33 pm

Donkey wrote: Other option is get another wife who appreciates your efforts and hard work.

I tried,even asked on the 4x4 community forum to swop her for a 4x4,selfish buggers wouldn't swop. :D

Craig

Masekind · Post by **Masekind** » Fri Dec 12, 2014 9:33 am

Donkey wrote:Personally, if the basics are covered I can and am buying me toys. You guys already have a home, maybe kids, good health, etc. Your wife is supposed to make you happier not sadder, buying a 4x4 is within reasonable reason. More so when you afford one. Sometimes I take unpopular decisions, and mostly her pride doesn't allow her to thank me, cos a lot of those times, I try and make them unselfish decisions. Buy yourself a Lux. You live once.

Other option is get another wife who appreciates your efforts and hard work.

Post by **Baasvark** » Sun Dec 21, 2014 10:02 am

If you are paying for it and the budget balances - buy it!
I work hard for my earnings and I spoil myself if the need arises. Simple as that.
Fortunately my wife enjoys the outdoors, makes tgings simpler.

Thabogrobler · Post by **Thabogrobler** » Tue Dec 23, 2014 10:58 pm

Work on a 'One for you, one for me' principal.

Kaaskrul · Post by **Kaaskrul** » Sat Jan 03, 2015 11:31 am

Its much easier to say Sorry, than to ask for Permission.

I just buy what I want, and take the flack I get from wife with a smile, he he he he

After 3 or 4 days all is back to normal again in my house.

Hunter26 · Post by **Hunter26** » Wed Jan 14, 2015 4:59 pm

Good news and not so good news.

for Christmas I got given a directors camp chair

,the other night I was discussing the usual hinting 4x4 I want one . So after a few drinks with the wife,she calmly says " Once you have painted the inside of the house,then you can but any 4x4 you want"

.

does this mean :

1) She actually means it and I have turned her to the light

or

2) she is going to divorce me ,hence I can use my share of the settlement to buy what I want

or

3) I can get one but will be in trouble

A few days ago FirstGear invited me over to check his 4x4 and project and to have "A" beer,arrived 17:20,left 21:00,wife gave the silent treatment for 2 days,it has been spoilt now

Maybe a lady member can interpret my vrous meaning.

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Wed Jan 14, 2015 5:25 pm

MY wife says............

"Buy the 4x4 and put her name on the number plate"

ROOFER · Post by **ROOFER** » Wed Jan 14, 2015 10:50 pm

Eish :!: :!: you've got work on your hands boet ,have you painted the house yet swept the yard wash the dishes,and most importantly show some love to your wife

heres the thing :!: not what you can do for me but what I can do for you my love

do you get my drift. Sterkte my broer.

Genis · Post by **Genis** » Thu Jan 15, 2015 6:26 am

Koop hom!

Daar is niks soos 'n kwaai vrou nie - net 'n bang man!

DawidT · Post by **DawidT** » Thu Jan 15, 2015 7:09 am

Hmmm.... I guess we were all in the same boat at some stage

We are just enjoying this one, not admitting the amount of crying and moping we gone through ourselves to get our first 4x4 - I mean, we are Hilux manne

and we do not beg or cry, let alone tell other manne

I can only suggest you go and do the following:
1) Cry when you see your favourite 4X4 in town

2) Gooi a really good, proper tantrum - 5 year old kid style
3) Do the "dik bek" thing for a couple of days
4) Refuse to eat - only when she is around
5) Post pictures of all the nice 4X4s you can find, in the toilet on all 4 walls and stay in there for hours on end
6) Tell all her friends how badly you need this 4X4

Just note, I never tried this before

So be careful and make sure when you do this, you do it in public (people do not murder that easily in front of other people

). You will probably get your 4X4 very soon and most likely a new wife also..... :wink2: .

Bottom line, no plan is the right plan - we dealing with woman here and they are going to surprise you

But be sure of the fact, you will have major support on this forum - even guys close buy to go and visit you in hospital :evil:

Gaan koop di ding en se groot sorry met n bossie blomme en n blik Mica Satin Silk binne verf, 25l (slegs as dit op special is

).

Plaas asb so n paar pics van jou en die nuwe Hilux..... :evil:

Post by **FIRSTGEER** » Thu Jan 15, 2015 6:49 pm

Craig do what a mate of mine did many years ago.He yearned to join his other pals on their big road bikes on their regular Sunday morning breakfast runs whilst he lived in the Freestate.SHE would not hear of it.So (with the help of his mates) he conjested a plan to aquire his very sought after bike.He purchased the said bike and left it at the dealer.He then placed an advert in the local paper congratulating himself of winning first prize in some charity raffle(which he said he purchesed a ticket at some mall whilst doing bussiness and had "forgoten" about).He was advised where to collect the bike and even had pictures of him with the bike being handed iver by the dealer posted in the paper.

Needless to say,SHE was very happy about his good fortune BUT advised him to sell the bike before putting any kilo's on the clock to enable them to do some home improvements.HE DID NOT BUDGE.

Think about it

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Thu Jan 15, 2015 7:36 pm

Brilliant

Thabogrobler · Post by **Thabogrobler** » Thu Jan 15, 2015 10:27 pm

FIRSTGEER wrote:Craig do what a mate of mine did many years ago.He yearned to join his other pals on their big road bikes on their regular Sunday morning breakfast runs whilst he lived in the Freestate.SHE would not hear of it.So (with the help of his mates) he conjested a plan to aquire his very sought after bike.He purchased the said bike and left it at the dealer.He then placed an advert in the local paper congratulating himself of winning first prize in some charity raffle(which he said he purchesed a ticket at some mall whilst doing bussiness and had "forgoten" about).He was advised where to collect the bike and even had pictures of him with the bike being handed iver by the dealer posted in the paper.

Needless to say,SHE was very happy about his good fortune BUT advised him to sell the bike before putting any kilo's on the clock to enable them to do some home improvements.HE DID NOT BUDGE.

Think about it

Sounds brilliant but can backfire badly!

Hunter26 · Post by **Hunter26** » Fri Jan 16, 2015 12:45 am

FIRSTGEER wrote:Craig do what a mate of mine did many years ago.He yearned to join his other pals on their big road bikes on their regular Sunday morning breakfast runs whilst he lived in the Freestate.SHE would not hear of it.So (with the help of his mates) he conjested a plan to aquire his very sought after bike.He purchased the said bike and left it at the dealer.He then placed an advert in the local paper congratulating himself of winning first prize in some charity raffle(which he said he purchesed a ticket at some mall whilst doing bussiness and had "forgoten" about).He was advised where to collect the bike and even had pictures of him with the bike being handed iver by the dealer posted in the paper.

Needless to say,SHE was very happy about his good fortune BUT advised him to sell the bike before putting any kilo's on the clock to enable them to do some home improvements.HE DID NOT BUDGE.

Think about it

Tony,wife works for lawyers as a collection clerk,she has woman ESP powers to tell if a person is lying or not. So I am kinda.......

D

Craig

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Fri Jan 16, 2015 4:05 pm

Hunter26 wrote:
FIRSTGEER wrote:Craig do what a mate of mine did many years ago.He yearned to join his other pals on their big road bikes on their regular Sunday morning breakfast runs whilst he lived in the Freestate.SHE would not hear of it.So (with the help of his mates) he conjested a plan to aquire his very sought after bike.He purchased the said bike and left it at the dealer.He then placed an advert in the local paper congratulating himself of winning first prize in some charity raffle(which he said he purchesed a ticket at some mall whilst doing bussiness and had "forgoten" about).He was advised where to collect the bike and even had pictures of him with the bike being handed iver by the dealer posted in the paper.

Needless to say,SHE was very happy about his good fortune BUT advised him to sell the bike before putting any kilo's on the clock to enable them to do some home improvements.HE DID NOT BUDGE.

Think about it
Tony,wife works for lawyers as a collection clerk,she has woman ESP powers to tell if a person is lying or not. So I am kinda.......D

Craig

My wife is a Polygraph examiner

I know how you feel man

Post by **george** » Fri Jan 16, 2015 8:26 pm

Come on Craig. Grow a pair. Go and paint the house

Oupa Stig · Post by **Oupa Stig** » Fri Jan 16, 2015 8:55 pm

This worked for me:
I'd joined the forum simply because I have a 4x2 workhorse Hilux and I wanted some advice.
Then I noticed all the fun 4x4bits.
So I spent a lot of time on the forum, mentioning interesting bits to the boss. No long face, no sulks, just the occasional "when she's not looking" but you know she actually is, whistfull, dreamy stare into the distance...
Makes 'em weak to see you manfully pining for something without complaint.
When her boss wanted to get rid of his 4x4, my boss was 1st in line. We got a bargain and I got a 4x4.

Paint your house. Don't mope. Show her some nice pics of lekker places someone on the forum went to. Never mention a 4x4. Do the stare...

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Fri Jan 16, 2015 9:04 pm

Oupa Stig wrote:This worked for me:
I'd joined the forum simply because I have a 4x2 workhorse Hilux and I wanted some advice.
Then I noticed all the fun 4x4bits.
So I spent a lot of time on the forum, mentioning interesting bits to the boss. No long face, no sulks, just the occasional "when she's not looking" but you know she actually is, whistfull, dreamy stare into the distance...
Makes 'em weak to see you manfully pining for something without complaint.
When her boss wanted to get rid of his 4x4, my boss was 1st in line. We got a bargain and I got a 4x4.

Paint your house. Don't mope. Show her some nice pics of lekker places someone on the forum went to. Never mention a 4x4. Do the stare...

The 1000 yard stare

rigardt · Post by **rigardt** » Fri Jan 16, 2015 9:11 pm

what I would do is make some nice friends on this 4x4 forum that will come and help you paint the house.
show and tell how nice these 4x4 guys are !!
then you really "need" to get a 4x4 to repay them for their nice gestures.
and there you go.
invite the wife along on your "return gesture" and she will meet all the other nice girls at the 1st 4x4 meeting and in no time she will be asking when she can meet them again.

shall we start a list then ???
I will come and help paint !