This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!!
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Tech support:What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer:A white one...
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Customer:Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
============== =
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
== =============
Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars (*****).
===============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
===============
And last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
IT skills / humour
Forum rules
Please keep it light hearted enol. No serious stufs hey! :)
We are trying to make the technical information more visible in the Active Topics section. So we are trying to combine all the humour posts into a single thread. This will then more or less always stay on the active topics page if you keep appending your jokes onto this single thread. Your assistance will be greatly appreciated
Please keep it light hearted enol. No serious stufs hey! :)
We are trying to make the technical information more visible in the Active Topics section. So we are trying to combine all the humour posts into a single thread. This will then more or less always stay on the active topics page if you keep appending your jokes onto this single thread. Your assistance will be greatly appreciated
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Mud Dog
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- Real Name: Andy
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IT skills / humour
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
-
ChrisSwart
- Low Range 4WD
- Posts: 198
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- Town: Johanesburg
- Vehicle: 1999 2700i Hi Lux
- Real Name: Chris
Re: IT skills
This kind of thing also happens if you sell car spares...Mud Dog wrote: Tech support:What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer:A white one...
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johangr
- Low Range 4WD
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Re: IT skills
Customer: My computer is off.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged in?
Customer: Yes.
Tech support: Have you pressed the power button?
Customer: Yes.
Tech support: Please look behind the computer box. See if the power cable is plugged in.
Customer: I cannot see behind the box.
Tech support: Why?
Customer: It's dark.
Tech support: Why is it dark.
Customer: We have a power failure.
Tech support: Ok sir, do you still have the boxes that your computer came in?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: Good. Where are they?
Customer: In the cupboard.
Tech support: Please take them out of the cupboard, and then carefully pack the computer back into the boxes.
Customer: Ok, will do. What must I do then?
Tech support: Take it back to the store that you bought it from, and tell them that you are too F%^&*#g stupid to own a computer.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged in?
Customer: Yes.
Tech support: Have you pressed the power button?
Customer: Yes.
Tech support: Please look behind the computer box. See if the power cable is plugged in.
Customer: I cannot see behind the box.
Tech support: Why?
Customer: It's dark.
Tech support: Why is it dark.
Customer: We have a power failure.
Tech support: Ok sir, do you still have the boxes that your computer came in?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: Good. Where are they?
Customer: In the cupboard.
Tech support: Please take them out of the cupboard, and then carefully pack the computer back into the boxes.
Customer: Ok, will do. What must I do then?
Tech support: Take it back to the store that you bought it from, and tell them that you are too F%^&*#g stupid to own a computer.
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up and totally worn out, screaming: WOO HOO! What a ride!"
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Borntofish
- LR 4WD Full Lockers
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- Real Name: Werner
Re: IT skills
Ek dink nie julle jokes is baie snaaks nie............... 
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Thunder02
- Moderator
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Re: IT skills
Love them guys 
Not all those who wander are lost!
Scout motto:be prepared....
www.4x4direct.co.za
Email: boksburg@4x4direct.co.za
IFS is like a swambo, soft, sexy and expensive!
Scout motto:be prepared....
www.4x4direct.co.za
Email: boksburg@4x4direct.co.za
IFS is like a swambo, soft, sexy and expensive!
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bduk
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Re: IT skills
Ja die grappie is ook nie vreeslik snaaks van waar ek staan nie. Ek is ook it support en kry ook elke dag met id 10 t (idiot) errors te doen.
Wat ek is is net genade
Wat ek het is net geleen
Wat ek het is net geleen
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Pora
- LR 4WD Rear Locker
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- Location: JHB
Re: IT skills
haha dis good
99% van die errors wat ek kry as I.T tech
is (pebtkatc) wat "problem exists between the keyboard and the chair" betenin
99% van die errors wat ek kry as I.T tech
is (pebtkatc) wat "problem exists between the keyboard and the chair" betenin
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johangr
- Low Range 4WD
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Re: IT skills
Dis hoekom ek dit goed gedink het om die grappie te post. Ek werk ook in IT, doen support vir 1000 plus users, en moet ook maar elke dag na daai "stupid" dinge luister. Help tog nie one huil daaroor nie.....!!!!! :!: :!: :!:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up and totally worn out, screaming: WOO HOO! What a ride!"
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CasKru
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Re: IT skills
Skielik voel ek nie meer so alleen nie.... maar dit hou darem die pot aan die kook
To God be the glory
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johangr
- Low Range 4WD
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Re: IT skills
Inderdaad kollega inderdaad.
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up and totally worn out, screaming: WOO HOO! What a ride!"
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Hoppy
- Monster Truck
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- Vehicle: Hilux SFA & IFS
- Real Name: Allan 0721291160
Re: IT skills
O, julle is daai ouens wat julle so slim hou as mens bel?
aev@iburst.co.za
The trouble with trouble is...it always starts as fun.
The most precious jewels you will ever wear around your neck is the arms of your children...
" I WOULD RATHER SIT ON THE TAILGATE OF MY HILUX WITH A BEER AND A CHOP, WATCHING A FIRE, THAN DINE IN THE BEST RESTAURANT IN TOWN "
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CasKru
- Moderator
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- Location: Rynfield
Re: IT skills
Oooo is jy een van daai ouens wat jou so dom hou as jy ons belHoppy wrote:O, julle is daai ouens wat julle so slim hou as mens bel?
To God be the glory
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Pora
- LR 4WD Rear Locker
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Re: IT skills
Glo my as jy by n skool werk met net vroumense dan sal julle van julle kop ag raak
:alvarin:
:alvarin:
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ChrisF
- Top Web Wheeler
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Re: IT skills
mooi manne, mooi ......
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warthog
- LR 4WD Full Lockers
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- Real Name: Hennie
- Location: Barberton, Mpumalanga
Re: IT skills
Ooooo ja!! Dis ek daai!! Verskil is net, ek "hou" my nie dom nie...CasKru wrote:Oooo is jy een van daai ouens wat jou so dom hou as jy ons belHoppy wrote:O, julle is daai ouens wat julle so slim hou as mens bel?
Hennie
Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Jos 24:15: "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord"
Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Jos 24:15: "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord"
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Mud Dog
- Moderator
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- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: IT skills / humour
Some more ......
- it01.jpg (25.09 KiB) Viewed 1964 times
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- it08.gif (49.28 KiB) Viewed 1964 times
- it10.jpg (15.72 KiB) Viewed 1964 times
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
-
Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: IT skills / humour
..... and more ......
- it11.jpg (32.52 KiB) Viewed 1964 times
- it12.gif (11.03 KiB) Viewed 1964 times
- it13.jpg (24.35 KiB) Viewed 1964 times
- it14.jpg (38.04 KiB) Viewed 1964 times
- it16.jpg (22.18 KiB) Viewed 1964 times
- it17.gif (24.87 KiB) Viewed 1964 times
- it19.jpg (71.66 KiB) Viewed 1964 times
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
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Stef
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 3125
- Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 12:54 pm
- Town: Pretoria
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- Real Name: Stefan
- Club VHF Licence: X107
Re: IT skills / humour
Julle IT manne kla verniet....weet julle hoe voel dit as ek 'n call log & dan bel IT my sodat ek vir hulle moet vertel waar om te click op die server!!! Maar ek mag mos nie die password hê nie...you go boys 
Maar ek mag mos nie die password hê nie...you go boys